Confession of a former Energy Vampire! Paint Party friday!

Acrylic painted collage

During the eighties and nineties I was always reading cook books in order to dazzle friends with my culinary skills! We had couples over every weekend.  No expense spared! Many special meals were served, lots of cards played, loads of giggles were had!!  On a very rare occasion  an intimate meal was reciprocated. Instead, friends often invited us to join them at the local pub, or a large party. 

original acrylic

 One day my mom mentioned that friends might find it difficult to compete with my fabulous scallop st Jacque, that sparked a bout of painful gout for her with prime rib, special liquor infused coffees and desserts! I had been putting my best foot forward, without a thought that it might be intimidating. My deep seeded fear of not being good enough for my friends, transformed into me being TOO MUCH!!

original acrylic

Entering the room with  a colorful bow in my hair commanded attention! My wit, opinionated demeanor, and  chatterbox nature depleted the room of energy. Although I had many friends I was a large entity, an immediate Energy Vampire. I was TOO MUCH!! 

In a coffee room I had an audience. Sincerely interested in what everyone had to say, and how they thought I was quick to banter using contemptible humor. Males were often intimidated by my wit...... Albeit funny, you may not want to be the brunt of my jokes because .....I was TOO MUCH!

Thankfully as long as I don't feel threatened I try  not to be that person anymore...

and yet I know at times I can still be TOO MUCH. 

I would always strive to be my best.... I had the nicest houses, the nicest cars,  the nicest kitchen  and appliances, I had everything and nothing....It was all TOO MUCH!!! 

Now I see others. They too are a big entities striving for perfection.... everything they do...is TOO MUCH. Like a vacuum, they suck the energy from the space. When they leave you exhale....and peacefully wait for the energy to return to the room.

Being "TOO MUCH" is born from feeling like you are never enough!

Have you made any drastic changes to your 

character that made you feel better about yourself?

This is my contribution to the wonderful Paint Party Friday!

Energy Vampires Paint Party Friday

A Birthday Card created for my friend. The girl appeared out of the paint! 
I think she must be sad about all the unrest in the world. 
My heart goes out to those in Boston and Waco as they grieve their losses.
Here in Canada I too had a melt down when I heard about Boston....so sad.

Energy  Vampires, a topic Cupcake, and a few friends discussed the other day!   Complaining how family members had sucked them dry of energy to the point that they needed a nap! Cupcake concurred, but  explained how a gathering of forty of her in-laws  actually energized her. A calm jovial crowd can be revitalizing for me too!! While a busy rambunctious crowd  of four can do the very opposite!

Loud background music while I'm trying to converse, constant  interruptions during the day, arguments, ignorant confrontations, negativity, physical pain and mean people  are all  energy vampires for me! Once I recognized how those things affect me, it's been easier to avoid them.

Confused House Slaves

For years my life was a constant bustle with an endless list of to-dos and little sleep. As a kid I was my mothers house slave, after I got married, my own house slave!! Big fat energy Vampire there!! As a single mom, I was an even bigger house slave... A few aches and pains later I am no longer a house slave! Which can be an even a bigger energy Vampire... cuz I really hate messes.

But I do feel grateful being able to  enjoy more creative moments!  

Digital Pink House Slaves

Small talk, should be easy, right? For me, not so much!! It's an energy Vampire!! If I have to requisition  unnatural small talk from another,  I panic. It's just not my forte. I prefer  silence or music. A place where ideas bloom.

Detoxing House Slaves

Meaty  intimate talk about love, life and differing perspectives gets my creative juices flowing! I enjoy non threatening  diverse opinions that I can mill over and learn from! I love connecting with others to  learn  something new and interesting, to bring away new ideas, varied perspectives, not petty judgements. When I feel connected it replenishes my energy, and in turn my creativity!

I had a fairly secure life as a child still there was lot of mood chaos and criticism. Trust me I tried so hard to please to no avail. My mother was an energy vampire and I was a little house slave who grew  into a very very very big house slave!!

Vibrant House Slaves

  My  presence alone, without speaking   can be a bit energy vampirish!!  However my daughter was never a house slave, I kept criticism  at bay supporting certain teenage trends. And I'm still friends with her!!! Yeah me!!

Resigned House Slaves

What are your energy Vampires? Which ones can you deduct from your life to make more room for creativity and other things you LOVE? 

Make sure to visit Paint Party Friday and enjoy the diverse collection of artists!!
Also joined Eclectic Paperie for the first time!! The theme is flowers! 
Linked to Artist in Blogland 
Dutch Dare Card Challenges 

Paint Party Friday Bride syndrome

Illustration Friday  she's out in the "Wild"

Be wary of the "hiker who doesn't hike"....someone who pretends to be something they're not. I have coined that phrase, used it for years, I own that metaphor, lol.  It`s a person who is not exactly authentic, and  deceives you by feigning a common interest to impress you!   They sport brand new hiking boots, while huffing and puffing up the mountain! .... Not that I would know! I've never been a hiker  nor have I ever professed to be!! However, I`m sure I tried to impress a boy or two by doing something out of my element....oh yeah, I  baked three cakes for his birthday, see here!!  an interesting read!

 Or the "smoker who doesn't smoke"...  a closet smoker  who knows you abhor  smoking. A dear friend had two boyfriends like that!! She had no clue they smoked, until one started having ass ashtray breath. She refused to kiss him, it ended soon after!

 "Twenty years later I've coined the way I fooled myself in youth, "bride syndrome." The fantasy many young girls have about life, love and babies!! We imagine the perfect day, beautiful dress,  music, dancing, and great food. I  was not immune!!  When in fact the bride is usually dead tired from all the planning, has her period, or comes down with the flu. The brides mother, or future mother in-law, has some kind of beef about something the bride did or didn't do!  Everyone  complains about either the food, the music or the  venue! To top it  off, uncle Joe gets too drunk and makes a total ass of himself spilling all the family secrets!! It's bitter reality and happens WAY too often!!

 Cupcake can attest to it, having worked in the wedding industry for five years. She saw everything from a grooms hankie pankie  with a bridesmaid from another bridal party in different room! To the wedding party in such a brawl the cops were called! These were very costly weddings too!! Enough for a down payment on housing kind of indulgence!!  I know many weddings turn out beautifully,  but still it can be a very expensive gamble, and often an extremely exhausting day for the bride! Sometimes a simplified wedding is better!

We`ve  all had  a fantasy at one time or another! I spent nine months talking about how I was going to raise my daughter. The moment she arrived that was tossed out the window. Instead I used my god given common sense to nurture her to adulthood!! Nothing of how I supposed it might be! Guess what, she`s been raised without Bride Syndrome.  I'm a blunt realist. It may sound cold but I think it's less disappointing to face life the way it is rather than how we fantasize  it! So far it's worked for my daughter.

Having dreams is completely different than having fantasies!! Dreams are imperative for success!  Babies and  puppies are so gosh darn adorable to lure us into  the mounds of work and self sacrifice they take in rearing !! It's nothing of how we imagine it will be. It's no sleep, lots of worry and years of putting yourself on the back burner. I'm a realist who loves to dream, fantasies are not my thing... thankfully I shook off bride syndrome some years ago!

Have you betrayed yourself by being something you weren't in order to impress someone you thought you wanted? Did it work?

This is my contribution to Paint Party Friday this week!!

Paint Party Friday Nothings Perfect

 Happy Paint Party Friday! I apologize for not  responding

 to  comments this week I was behind the eight ball!

"It's OK not to be perfect. Nothing you are drawing is, either." Lynn Cohen

Author of One Fish and Half an Order of Guacamole!

 Sage words were never said! Especially as we overwork our art in frustration trying to perfect our pieces. The evolution of Lynns work done in pen shows that finding your style can mean making a few boo boo's along the way! Does it matter? Not really! When I see Lynns work I admire her style with some imperfections... because her drawings and perspective are consistent.

So I ask is it better to be consistent and true to yourself? Or should we strive for perfection that goes against  beyond who we are? Or can we find a middle ground by being consistent while aiming for perfection determined by others? Or is perfection actually just our personal best? Truthfully I know none of the answers....I just know I`ve never been perfect in any way shape or form!! Yet I spent the first  half my life trying to achieve it!! Sad, I know.....

I thought I had hold of it for a short time....but found it to be elusive...

The appearance of perfection is alluring, and the tradeoff costly! The energy alone trying to maintain it is insurmountable. Sure wish  I'd heard Lynns wise words years ago! Long before I wasted years trying to measure up!

   Many moons ago I lived in an elite neighborhood, golf green mowed lawns, children in every extra curricular activity, all but a few  drove nice cars, marriages in tack and kids seemed happy! Neighborhood parties galore, school gatherings and happy families abound!! Underneath brewed imperfection, addiction, learning disabilities, infidelities, health issues, fiscal troubles, mental illness and  abuse, the things soap operas are made of.......yet it all appeared so darn lovely. Something a young person could easily aspire to.

Jumping ahead twenty years. The most suitable couples, divorced, the kids expected to be most successful, aren`t, and the ordinary less pretentious couples are all still together...go figure!! Some of the kids went way off the rails!! Did ego get in the way I wonder? Were appearances just too exhausting to maintain? Did they seek the illusion of happiness in material items, and exotic holidays that never lived up to their expectations? Did they outgrow the lifestyle!?

 Many have moved from the neighborhood now, but it's still the same. 

A new group of dysfunctional people chasing the  illusion dream!

As much as I love whimsy, unique things and unique people there is a real ordinary side to me. As people around me struggle with so much drama in their life, having so much to contend with, my life stays very ordinary in comparison. Consistent too! I trudge along in my little world hoping one day to produce something of value other than perfection!

How about you, are you still being seduced by perfection?