Attitude adjustment and Paint Party Friday!

 If  Cupcake whined when she was little, I'd ask," Is that whining?" knowing it took a lot to anger me she would usually stop immediately. Sometimes she giggled when I used an authoritative voice because it was quite unfamiliar to her. Instead I used my eyes to discipline direct her. I never liked to embarrassed myself or her by yelling like a banshee! Ultimately my goal was always to direct and correct behavior. Not saying I didn't feel like pulling my hair out by the roots when at four she'd whine as  I prepped dinner! For the most part though she listened or watched for eye signals!  If she acted improper, it was  usually something I  forgot to teach along the way!

As  a preteen/teen she had her moments like they all do! When she'd whine, or get crabby.  I'd say in a terse voice, "  CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE!"  I had buzz words for my child and didn't even realize it at the time!! "DANGER" for when she was a toddler about to grab at a coffee mug or touch a lamp cord....I never used that word otherwise........

"WEIRDO ALERT," warned her to stay close  to me until I  figured out what the weirdo was all about, assessed if things were safe. 

This did not photograph accurate...done with twinkling H2O's

" CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE" was used for times Cupcake

 was crabby or whiny for no reason.

 As an adult, when things stray  in an adverse direction, Cupcake will regroup, and "change her attitude"                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          It's never overt, but she rarely stays stuck.  Instead  her attitude changes to gratitude, positivity, hope, or faith...even when things are at their worst she  will change directions or thought patterns.  I am so fortunate to witness my daughter work life out with such wisdom and finesse!

I've seen her clean out a closet gathering things to give away, or  baking banana bread to gift people. Cupcake will coupon items for the woman's shelter, or share  wisdom with a less fortunate youth. She focuses on those less fortunate rather than her own problems. Some how things always turn around with wonderful opportunities being presented.

A few weeks ago Cupcake and I cleaned out a linen closet purging many good quality items to share with a young woman starting out. The  rest was given to charity. Then we went through all my art supplies, purging colors I'll never use, dried out paint, sharpies and bad paint brushes.

A few hours later my twinkling H2O's that have been missing several  years showed up.They were in  a closet under the stairs, tucked neatly on a shelf in a painted lunch kit right next to some shoes. It felt like Christmas. 

The next day an  earring  lost the first time I wore it showed up hiding behind a box. I was so thrilled! Then this week my two favorite fancy blue necklaces appeared after I hid them several years back!. Don't ask.. I was so grateful it felt like winning the lottery!! Cupcake got an unexpected work bonus two days later!

While chatting with a relative I suggested that giving things away would  
assure them the universe will present things you want or need, whether it be an opportunity or somethings you have been hankering. Getting rid of items that were stealing energy, has brought lost items back to me. 
Sometimes I am blessed with  new needed items too! 

The one on the left was made by Poppy the Groovy glass girl.That necklace was love at first sight!

 How do you cope when negative energy that  keeps showing up? Do you shoo it away, and ignore it,  wallow in it, or change your attitude to a new direction or thought pattern?

This is my contribution for the wonderful Paint Party Friday you can find other creative souls there weekly!

Limitations Paint Party Friday

Face #22

As a young woman I was encouraged to get a good job and a house, with the promise that it would be a lucrative investment! There was never mention of getting a job you enjoyed, only one that paid well!

Face #23

At the beginning I was a girl satisfied with less. Always making something out of nothing on a tight budget. I had a very limited wardrobe, and rarely spent a cent on clothing or shoes. I painted furniture and rooms to spruce things up! I was sincerely delighted to live with less, until I got a union job making twice the wage, doing the exact same thing. 

Face #26,#27,#28.#29....... done with my finally located twinkling h20's that were sitting nicely on a shelf in a painted lunch box!...yahoo!

 As I heard co-workers chatting in the coffee room about their beautiful purchases I began to want more. I knew I worked very hard and deserved as much as them. It started with a microwave which ran about sixteen hundred dollars at the time.(Isn't that such a laugh now eh? Beware of  upgrading  high end electronics today people!!) There began my affair with "THINGS"!  Enmeshed in a bland marriage I threw myself into decorating my home and buying "THINGS" to anesthetize my lonely heart! 

Face #24

 Once all the rooms were decorated and the basement was finished I began to find fun outside the home. I had fun clothes, a fun vehicle and fun friends. I ate, drank and was merry most weekends. But the "Merry" in my life was a facade. Inside I still felt unfulfilled.... After a short separation from my husband we reunited and continued to consume. Something for him, something for me, eventually buying a bigger better forty-four hundred square foot home with a spiral staircase. Even though I felt like a queen at 29 it wasn't until my daughter was born seven months after the big move that I knew what had really been missing! I finally felt complete. 

 The previous years of buying was a substitute for my 12 year, childless marriage.  I had never really considered being a mom until then. However, everything I bought there after was for her. Still on that dysfunctional treadmill of thought that you needed to have "THINGS" to BE happy. Since my emotional needs were never met as a child, I wanted to insure my daughters  were! The first four years, my little girl had everything a princess could imagine, loads of love, lots of fun, and "THINGS"...and then, I GOT REAL!  She was always a really good child and even though I didn't need to say many " No's" I knew her future world might. So I strategically started using the word "NO" so she wouldn't be too disappointed when out of my care. Happily she is still closely in my life and still rarely hears the word "NO" from me or otherwise.... 

Face #25

Fast forward twenty years. After fifteen years of a physically limited lifestyle, forced fiscal restraint, a divorce, a few disappointments and  loads of grief,  my creative life was born! We often hear about the importance of moving past our limitations.  Last week however I seem to be bombarded with the message that many wonderful things can happen within the realm of limitations. Not sure if it's what I need to hear or whether it was just a recurring theme last week! 

I use a cane now. Friends and family probably wonder why I don't feel much like having visitors.  Instead I meet people outside my home,  keeping dear ones close. My world  is getting smaller as I pull away from my old lifestyle, yet my life is more satisfying than ever before. Within my limitations creativity flourishes....plus I've been using my cane to turn off lights, draw things to me, and threaten bullies....Just kidding about the bullies!! However I often shake my cane in the air in jest... It seems when  life becomes limited new outlets  are presented, new thoughts form with new avenues  to be explored. 

What have you learned from your limitations? Have you ever had limitations that spawned a new path in your life? 

Oh and on a side note Paula from Buenos Aires has me as a guest Blogger this week featuring a few of my shoe stories on her blog Keep it Simple make it Great! Thank you Paula for the shout out!

This is my contribution to Paint Party Friday and 29 faces of September!

Wish I knew! Paint Party Friday

As a woman I tried to be everything 

to everyone for several years! 
Had I known then what I know now......

Color is not accurate on this card made for Nature Goddess.  Face#12

I'd have cut a lot more corners! I'd have done a lot less cooking and a lot more creating! I'd have simplified drastically. I'd have cut  stress by buying pre-made items for parties, transferring it to a pretty dish letting people assume what they will!! 

Face #13

Better boundaries, while  listening to  people problems, would have served me well back in the day!   Drama kings and queens tended to cling to me like white fuzz balls on a black sweater,  sucking me dry of empathy energy! I should have stopped wearing deodorant, or worn garlic clove necklaces to ward them off!  In  years past I've learned...certain people tend to repeat their drama over and over in different scenarios!! They're addicted.. if it continues, wean them off you ASAP!! 

Keep all  negative ones NEGATONIANS  at bay!

Face #14 #15

I'd have spent less time on the phone. In today's world that would be face crack, instagram and texting...all big addictions that I'm pretty sure will cause permanent eye  and neck damage. I should have used that time wiser. Scheduling "Me" time for daily creativity.... instead of staying up all night to complete redecorating and sewing projects. 

Face #16

I should have refused to be a part of any family drama, and tried harder to keep hurtful things they said out of my head!

I'd have told my younger self to NEVER  get involved in a three way.... fight!! Never let anyone drag you into their arguments as an arbitrator or otherwise...it's best to stay clear...nothing takes you down faster than being the go between....you will ALWAYS be used as their scapegoat. No doubt they'll misquote you too!!

Face #17

I'd tell younger women.....

Cleaning  floors BEFORE company arrives is fruitless....

 Most likely you'll  NEED to clean them shortly after anyway, 

especially when kids are involved!! 

 I've yet to come and visit my friends floors! 

Just ask yourself, 

"Could a baby crawl safely on these floors?"

If so, you're good!

Face #18 Dancer

Prioritize  only what is most important at the time! 

Don't feel guilty if you have a new baby and don't get dressed all day.... 

give yourself some slack....If you have been up all night with a teething child, 

cancel visits and appointments until you feel more rested  normal, 

if that's even possible.  Treat yourself kindly!

Face #19

Dust will always be there, don't waste too much time on it...If you need to leave it longer than normal to find time....DO IT!! Never allow uninvited guests "dropper inners"....nothing worse than spontaneous company to interrupt your plans, whether it be creativity, housework, or your "ME" time!! It's rude not to call first! Don't answer your door!!..unless your guest is accompanied by a maid! You might not want to miss out on a little house keeping help.....!!

Face #20

NEVER feel you have to answer a phone call, or a door....and NEVER explain yourself. You are entitled to your privacy...whether you want alone time with a family member,  to rock your baby, have a headache or play a game of scrabble...that is YOUR choice!! For heaven sakes don't feel guilty!!! It's completely wasted energy! Your home is your castle safe haven!

Face #21 Some may think you a witch! Oh well! Let them! 

Don't volunteer for EVERYTHING....you are only ONE person...helping is awesome but if it takes you constantly away from really important parts of your personal life and things you love  it's not worth it!! All the same people tend to repeatedly volunteer....sit on your hands once in a while!! Let others have a turn!

You do NOT have to accept every invitation.... only those invitations you know you'll enjoy and love!! The best response is " Sorry, that doesn't work for me." Most people won't ask why...but if they do, just repeat..."it just doesn't work for me" Always give yourself an out by saying, "let me get back to you." For years I accepted invites I lived to regret.. now I give myself time to process it properly before accepting!

How many times have you been at a function and thought, "why am I here, I'm not having a good time?"

Never let a friendship be too one sided. Being generous is an amazing quality, however if the relationship is totally one sided....consider moving on to something more balanced! Some people are in our lives for a season. I tended to take so many people under my wing to help them, without expectations. Now I realize I should have sought a better balance..for my own sake!

 Last of all, "Be The Queen of your life!" Treat yourself like you treat your best friend or your children.....and for petes sake, "shut  that darn sabotage Gremlin up",  he's a big fat liar, because you are perfect just the way you are!!!


What is your best advice for a woman trying to be everything to everyone?

My contribution for paint party friday and 29 faces of September!

Things you'll probably never say! Paint Party Friday!

This is my contribution for Paint Party friday

and 29 faces of September!
A little more variety this week,
thankfully!

Things you will probably NEVER say!!!

Day #6

Sure wish I had Green teeth like this guy!!!

Day #7

 Gee, I wish I'd stayed in that abusive marriage longer!!

Day #8

Sure hope that car doesn't lose it's brakes or go out of control

while I'm texting and listening to my ipod as I cross the busy street!

Sure wish those telemarketers would call me every time I sit down to dinner! 

Day #9

Sure wish those pretty weeds would keep choking out my flowers! 

Gee I wish they would make more car honking commercials 

to scare the  bejesus out of me in the middle of the night 
 while I sit quietly painting!

Day #10

They should create way more tv commercials using children 
playing recorders like Target does on their 
back to school advertizement!! 
After  all who doesn't  love the
sound of a recorder being played well!!

Day #11

Sure wish my friend would stay on their cell phone  while we're visiting
 so I can feel irrelevant, bored and uncomfortable  a while longer!

 I love to think in opposites, it makes what could be quite negative

more silly. Sometimes it gets a point across quite well!

  It's a weapon I often used in the day

when I used bullets of contemptible humor!
Those days are passed and I like to think I'm a nicer

person now!!

For the record, none of my friends ever stay on
their cell phones too long in my presence.....
 but others have done it to me and it's rude!
 It's why I rarely answer my land line
 when I have company!

How about you what is something 
you would NEVER say?

Give it a try!

Sending love to all those grieving  
or fighting health issues!

Manners and 29 faces of September

Huge storm here, with loads of thunder and lightening. Sounded like a 

dump truck backed into the house...it continued for several hours. 

Finally calm for a bit... 
I'm not satisfied with my faces for the
29 faces of September challenge but I continue on...

Day #3

Manners....oh where, oh where have they gone? In our house we thank each other daily  for the most mundane things. Whether it be fetching a drink, making a meal, or handing the other a sweater!  There is always a genuine thank-you!! We take nothing for granted!! We compliment each other often and laugh at our own idiosyncrasies, that's how it works for us! 

Movies, video games and music are often blamed for creating bullies... Yet our society has a trickle down affect of nasty behavior. Large companies bully their employees  to work harder for less, with  rare accolades for a  job  well done. Older employees are often pushed out to pasture before their time.

Day #4

Some cell phone  monopolies companies refuse to compromise with customers without a dispute.  I've heard too many stories of credit cards continuing to be charged  long after a plan has lapsed! While exorbitant accidental roaming charges  are almost impossible to rectify even after the customer follows the cell phone providers recommendation to the tee.

Contacting any corporate customer service is a time thief.  Held hostage to slow automated messages in search of  the exact department. Then forced to listen to bad elevator music for several minutes until reaching a human.  Finally getting through  to a representative with an accent  so thick it's difficult to discern. It's embarrassing for them and me as I repeat, " pardon" several times with no resolve. Customer service today can be perplexing at times..

One service provider  insisted the problem was on my end  instead of admitting an upgrade was in progress on their end. Each time this happens they  attempt to have me approve a service call. When I refuse and threaten  to change services after 40 years of loyalty.... there is always a miraculous quick  fix  on their end. Why can't they just admit they dropped service and apologize? Their attempt at bullying squashed!

Day #2

My local pizza company was a weekly frustration for three months straight. I'd have to hang up two or three times until I connected to someone who could properly understand my order....Communication Accent issue again...I thought I had this one beat by ordering online and collecting it on my way home...BUT NO...another order kerfuffle. With them trying to pawn off a foreign pizza not even available in their  online menu.  I reverted to calling again, only this time I bypassed the corporate number  straight to my location. After several frustrating calls  I got a woman who was so amazing, just because she understood my basic order..... I've had her three times now and each time thanked her profusely for taking my order with such ease and diligence.... Why are things so complicated  today? Shouldn't they be thanking me for my patronage? Why  is sincere human interaction at such a premium?

Day #5

  Some Cashiers  are forced  to address me by my sir name when we've never met before. Calling me Mrs when I've not been married for 17 years. I don't like it, and I'm sure they don't either! I much prefer an authentic  sincere greeting!

Day #1

Manners and customer service are so important now that I have mobility issues, every interaction is at a premium! When I leave a store I want to feel good... if I don't, it's doubtful I'll be back.

The other day while driving on a very busy street a man walked out in front of my car compromising our safety. I was so annoyed until he waved a thank-you as I slowed  to let him pass by.... some how that simple gesture made his dangerous practice okay....I knew he sincerely appreciated my defensive driving that kept him safe.   I exhaled.  He walked quickly  past Cupcake  and me. Suddenly we  felt compassion! Maybe he was worried he'd miss his bus! That one small gesture abdicated our ire! 

We need more everyday kindness, gratitude, and appreciation for each other. Corporations need to follow suit. Maybe then the whole world would follow our example and there would be a little less bullying in every avenue of life! 

Do you see covert bullying in your everyday life? Do you think manners have diminished over the years?

Thanks to all the wonderful artists at Paint Party Friday  who visit, you are all such loving kind souls... and great examples of what peace and love looks like!

This is my contribution to Paint Party friday and 29 faces in September. 
Thank you to Kristen, Eva and Martha for hosting these wonderful art sites!