I cry more now

Paint Party Friday

Revamped paintings with some digital manipulations, love the results!

I Cry More Now!

I'm older and wiser

I  cry more  now

when I see hate

  abuse and neglect.

Dissension in our universe

is sad and overwhelming.

Perspectives are askew

Shandra can't handle the state of the world and needs encouragement.

It's a blamers world.

No one takes responsibility.

People want an easy escape.

There is none.

If you leave a marriage 

there's is fall out,

disillusioned children

broken one way or another.

If you stay in the  abuse
the damage 
solidifies.  

Carmen is grieving.

 

Accepting mental illness 

is heroic....

If you also take responsibility 

for the ramifications,

the damage it inflicts,

the chaos and fear it causes.

Recognizing it as so.

 Defining it otherwise

is an injustice to all

 who have suffered it's terror.

 No one imagines themselves

addicted, homeless, alone.

But, it happens

Why?

The stories are missing

as the blame  

recurs

In labels, 
abuse, mental illness
addiction

Alberta and Al very very loosely sketched and painted...unusual for me.

I cry more now 

when I see the love

I taught my child,

  reciprocated,

in forgiveness, allegiance 

compassion.

Athena is full of wonder...she still believes in all the  goodness!

I cry at good deeds

kind moments,

joyous occasions for others

great leaders, humanitarians

trustworthy ethics and kindness

strong women, gentle men

I cry at stories of redemption

good music, cheerful endings

magical moments, philanthropy

I endure the pain of death
and illness. 
I shut my eyes to the

  visuals

 of abuse, gore, hatred

horror.

My mind shuns 

what shreds the fibers of my 

soul

Casey is a constant skeptic...she does give you the benefit of the doubt though.

In reverence I

grapple to shards

of hope!

and the goodness of my beautiful daughter!!

Do you find yourself a bit more emotional these days? 

Mothers Wedding gift

Paint Party Friday

Painted an old summer sketch, mounted digitally on a painted acrylic background!

Once divorced my grandmother took her two young girls

to live a province away from their father! A brave feat back
   in her day!  Years later my mother masqueraded as a young 
 woman from a good family.

 She dressed to perfection and held the highest
  ethic in every way! Behind closed doors, her mother
  on many occasions, berated and demeaned her during
her  alcoholic rants! Still mom held her head high!

Sketches done in the summer, painted this week and added a digital background!

Growing up mom heard disparaging remarks
  about her father. He was no fiscal help, and
 one Christmas the girls shared an orange as 
their only gift! Most days there was little to eat, 
but my Nana was a gifted cook who could 
make something from nothing!

Another of the unfinished sketches done in the summer... added  a digital background

 For years Mother had terrible resentment against her
 father! Curious at thirteen, my aunt demanded to 
see him. At seventeen mom begrudgingly accompanied
her younger sibling by train to visit their dad. 
 

Birds trippin

Even after that visit mom still did not warm
to her father! She was angry her little
sister had  gone without. Angry he 
made no  effort  towards them! 
 While his step daughter
 had all her needs met and more.

Birds in the corner

Vowing never to marry, mom met a kindhearted,
fun, fabulous dancer. She fell passionately in
love and married my father in her early twenties.
  My grandfather finally acknowledged her with
a beautiful wedding  gift. A full bedroom suite!
  It opened the door to a new relationship with his
  his estranged daughter!       

As mother rekindled a relationship with her 
dad she found so much of what her mother
had said  untrue. My grandpa was a gentle
kind loving man. He was a talented fiddler 
and woodworker and very funny! Everyone
loved him. He had a big generous kind
heart and in fact gave so much credit to
those in need that he lost his corner store!

Photo Credit Cupcake

Over the years mom had a better long
term relationship with her dad than she
ever had with her mom! She learned his
language which her sister never spoke.

  I only remember him as a loving jolly generous 
wise grandpa who always gave us kids hugs
 quarters and giggles! I loved his European

 accent and can be known to mimic it to this day!

I loved his visits, Mom was always so happy

 when he came to town! They'd talk into
 the wee hours, many nights in a row!

 My aunt  complained that grandpa wasn't
 getting enough rest! To which mom would retort,
"He'll sleep when he's dead!"
 

Photo Credit Cupcake

Mom held a lot of guilt about the anger
 she felt towards him as a child. She was 
 broken when he passed!

Sanded off layers of white, pink, orange, brown, and purple then primed and repainted!

When I was a little girl my father cut 
up the vanity table from their wedding
suite to make me two side tables.
For the past fourty four years I have
carted those side tables around with
me to every house I've lived in!

 72 year old piece! Once used as childhood bedside tables, New hardware and paint job....

They have been multiple colours over 
the years to match each home decor. The 
last few years I considered replacing 
them.  Even wondering why I
kept them so long. They were such
an integral part of my childhood.
With my parents having  passed
so young I think it may have been
a way to keep a part of them with
me.

 Before, painted purple for 15 years.....painted tray on top for a larger surface.

The mere suggestion that I replace
  them with something more current 
was rebuked by both kids! Who instead
of covering them  with another layer of paint
took them down to bare wood and
repainted them yellow!

Refreshed Family room side table repainted yellow, eventually we'll get a black couch. 

We all carry many layers, some less flattering 
than others! We can't just sand them off, or
paint them over! We can however refresh our
 attitude and perspective. Once my grandfather
made an effort to acknowledge his daughter
she was able to forgive him!
That forgiveness bought her more years of joy
than her childhood pain! For mom it was so worth it!
For us kids too!  

My two favourites dressed in green for Saint Patrick's day last week!

 
 Do you carry things around you 
should have left behind years ago?