Parents are just Human Paint Party Friday

Paint Party Friday

Show your face Friday

A gift I gave myself is teaching my child at a very young age
that I too have feelings, that I'm  only human! Admitting I don't
know everything, don't always have a solution, and may not always
 have the answers! It's way harder to fall off a pedestal if you're
 never on it!  I preferred being seen as a mother who loves 
her implicitly,  will protect her at all costs, stands by  to support 
her physically and emotionally. Rather than lording over her,
 all I think, believe and know!!

A very old painting I redid.... exactly how I've felt a few days this week!

My child has  a realistic view of who I am as I age!
She can appreciate my situation with compassion. 
 Not as the mom constantly doing, but as the mom that also
 got tired of doing it all!  Interestingly she still asks for my opinion.
 I rarely asked my mothers views, she volunteered  them
 whether I wanted them or not!

   I observe middle aged parents, and grandparents with a different eye!
 I see when they are tired and need the help, yet  their children
 are often oblivious, piling more work and expectations on them!

  I've seen an older parent works through the pain with a 

slight  sharpness of tone as they mask their suffering! Just

 grateful to have their children and grandchildren present,hiding
 their exhaustion, knowing the  alternative would 
mean  less visits! 

 There comes a time when children in their late thirties
early forties needs to step up to the plate and do
the bulk of the work. Taking the pressure off their elder
parents. Doing it with compassion so their parents 
still feel worthy. Bringing more prepared food to a family function.
 Paying their own way, making more effort. Understanding why 
a mother hasn't kept up the yard because she was so
 exhausted  babysitting toddlers everyday!

Another ICAD,,,,I made it up to  72 but I am so done with them now!!

Understanding that just because an elder persons 
memory isn't perfect, doesn't mean they have dementia. 
 Requisitioning answers to things might be on the back burner
or take more time as they struggle with the aches and pains
of aging. Answers may be  lost in the jumble
of many years of information trapped in their mind,
along with pending expectations!

 As I observe my children taking over the bulk of the work, planning
things they want in the garden, completely different than anything
I'd have thought of planting I see just how much responsibility I 
had on my own for many years! It's kind of surreal to observe all
 that I did, and all that doesn't get done now. I really was 
a super woman for way too many years!

Also my pink haired girl was inspired by this collage piece and this video done by Katherinejeannewood

My Inspiration is Claire who  does beautiful girls with colored hair!

There comes a time when you absolutely need to pass the torch.

If your children aren't getting it, you need to explain how it's their

turn! I've watched an aging father continue to  pay for his adult child's

cell phones as they feel entitled.  I've seen retired parents let their

 adult sons live rent free, and continue to bring friends around

to  raid the fridge like teenagers while they smoke in the front yard! 

Too many times adult children are too involved in their own life to 

realize their parents might be struggling too!

Icad Possible glowing star!

I am so proud of my Cupcake who offers up her seat on the train

for anyone she notes in pain! Or runs to assist  with a bottle of
water for an older male who is seemingly bent  over in 
distress on a hot day! She's aware, helpful, thoughtful and kind
 because she has empathy, and she sees me struggle
 as a human being.

I'm proud that my daughter always brings enough
where ever she goes. That she stands beside her mother
in law like a daughter and helps. That she digs in whenever
she can. That she actually sees the injustice of one older
women doing the lions share of work while everyone else
enjoys themselves on her time and dime!

I remember the day I looked at my dad and realized
he was aging. His arms had lost the muscle.
  Although I had no expectations from my parents
since the age of seventeen, it wasn't until they were 
gone that I realized they were just regular human beings
with possible weaknesses and vulnerabilities.  I think I 
always saw them as having power over me. Everything they 
said mattered more than it really should have.  For some reason  
we sometimes see parents  more, as icons, and consummate
nurturers!  Rather than people having a human experience!

Do you ever feel taken advantage of! Is there more on your plate

than should be at this time in your life? Do you need to express

yourself more and set boundaries?