We teased my mom about this for years later, even though she is long gone it's a memory that still holds a chuckle. Keep in mind she was a very short woman, with only a few extra pounds. Really cute, very young looking for her age and a bit aggressive. I was always taller and heavier than my mom. Most of the time I felt like a big oaf following behind her. She never ceased to embarrass me in a restaurant, this is just one of those occasions!
smörgåsbord
Feisty, five foot mom named Sue
You’d dare not do, what she told you to
Off she’d drag us to the smörgåsbord
A day off of cooking, she implored
Down the line we’d trail behind
For twenty bucks, four of us dined
Filled up our plates, all you could eat
Savories, salads, delicious things sweet.
Mom always heaped hers, just a little more
with chicken almost toppling, to the floor
We’d cringe and scowl, often protest
A covert measure we kids would detest
She’s shush us, with a voice cautiously terse
Then proceeded to stash chicken into her purse
Embarrassed we’d shudder at this brazen act
Our mother stole chicken carefully packed
She excused it by saying it was for dad’s lunch
We’d paid for it anyway and it’s wasn’t a bunch
In eighty degree weather the chicken would ride
Nestled amongst lipsticks in her purse it would hide
Shopping, visiting, with no one the wiser
The bacteria laden fowl, now a potential bum geyser
Hours went by with poultry out of refrigeration
Suddenly she remember her chicken with elation
Placed into the fridge until the very next day
“Chicken Sandwiches everyone?”
We both screamed “NO WAY”!
19 comments:
You had me laughing with this one! I can just visualize her, and your embarrassment as kids but it does make for a funny poem.
I got a "giggle" out of this - I think we all know a chicken stasher or two... she sounds like a she was a fun person!
This is so funny! I can just imagine how you must have felt. And your term 'potential bum geyser' just creased me up. I do enjoy your blog!
LOL. Oh my goodness. That's a funny poem, but if true...frightening! Good job.
that is one of my all time favorite things to do at the buffet,, watch the people steak food and "cleverly" tuck it away when "no one is looking"...LOL... i love you mom and her rancid chicken!!!!!!
You made me chuckle as well as I remembered my grandmother stuffing rolls into her cavernous purse during a pilgrimage to Ratner's on the Lower East Side (a very old and revered institution - serving up Eastern European Jewish soul food for generations).
What a funny, entertaining post! It brought back so many embarrassing memories!
I had a blast reading this. I was seeing all those people stuffing themselves.
The books I would write
Oh! That is too funny, Sherrie! I had family members who would do much the same - I think it was a result of growing up in the Depression, and they always felt they didn't want to miss an opportunity for food, and had to stay 'stocked up.'
I certainly wouldn't want to try my chances on that chicken though, lol.
xOx
We didn't know, then, what could happen to chicken that stayed out overnight! This is a deliciously funny poem!!
That's cute, Mz. Giggles. Here where I live there are a lot of retired folks and they are always stuffing their purses in restaurants...with sugar or crackers or any condiments that are put out on the table, along with extra napkins, etc. Great post!
Oh how very funny! I can just see it. My mom was tiny too. She had to really stretch to make it to 5' 2" and never really made it to that tall. I always felt like an ox next to her. A big blue ox! That poem still has me chuckling to myself.
Oh, that's a scream!
I promise, as a five-foot-tall mom named Susan, to never do this to my family. I had an uncle who used to take home everything that wasn't nailed down. I remember the embarrassment.
Some older people grew up during the depression and it is their nature to hoard food. Thankfully, because of their generation, most of us have not had to go to bed hungry. Hey, if old people want to put a sandwich in their pocket, that is ok with me. Excuse me. I have a potential bum geyser to deal with. Great post.
Aloha Sherri,
Thanks so much for a good giggle, I needed one this morning. :)
Peace, Kai xx
Excellent, as ever. Humour entwined with the real moments of life. Peace & love, JP/deb
I spit my tea out laughing at the end. LOVED this! XXOO
hahaha! LOVE this Sher! Your mom was a hoot!
Poor dad didn't know where his dinner had been?
too funny of a tale, makes me feel WORSE about my stupid smorgasbord post. (ive regreted it since I wrote it.!)
Hey... I have LOT's of catching up to do.. sorry I haven't made my blog reading rounds lately.
Your gift of poetry Sherrie is so great!
Great poem! My grandmother always stashes uneaten food in her handbag. These days she says it's for the cat!
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