Quote of The Day

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Sunday Scribblings " Lost"

You may recognize a couple of famous hockey players here!
These pictures are priceless to the parents, avid hockey fans.
Some of these players will never truly know the value
of the time spent with these children
.


Preschool at Halloween.Just too adorable.



The most gorgeous eyes and eyelashes.
Such a sweet little guy.

Daddies pride and joy!
Mommies little angel
May he rest in Peace
February 26th/2009


Sunday Scribblings prompt this week is " Lost"



Lost is an understatement to how I felt this week when I heard my friend’s second child passed away within twenty two months. What do you say to a woman standing on the bluff of dismay? Usually a chatterbox, I was silenced.


Albeit shocked about the timing, part of me wasn’t surprised given the history of the past year. Too many bouts in the hospital with difficulty breathing, elevated seizures then a feeding tube.Hints I chose to deny.


Every morning my friend took her son to preschool where he sat in his special chair with all the other special needs children. Such a happy little guy with limited mobility, dependent on everyone, he seemed to smile a lot, much like his parents.I loved it when he giggled. Attending school was risky, with classmates carrying normal childhood viruses he could easily contract. But it was such a joy for him being with other kids, giving him a semblance of normalcy.


There was a time he could roll, push buttons with his fists to make music exude from his toys. Occupying himself with childhood sounds in a close to normal way. However this last year there were many set backs as his health deteriorated. Meanwhile his parents monitored every move. Aware of every nuance preceding a seizure, mother policed his hospital care. She was her darling boy’s voice. Knowing when he was uncomfortable, angry, or unhappy. Just like any good mother knows.


My friends nonchalant way of preparing food and medication to be syringed every few hours without skipping a beat amazed me. Never a complaint over the laborious chore of feeding him, the years before the feeding tube was inserted. Attending to every need, sound, bathing, changing and carrying around a five years old without a peep of objection. It became very matter of fact, it was her normal. She cuddled, carted him around with all of his apparatus, spoke to him with love, jesting with him as though he understood each and every word. It’s impossible to know for sure he didn’t.


My friend did her best under very difficult circumstances. It was rare for her to take respite care for her son.On occasion her mother stepped in to give her a reprieve, she also had a sitter who was trained to care for disabled children on an hour to hour basis. Lately it was only when hospital staff convinced her, with assurance he would have twenty four hour hospice care could she even consider leaving his side. During his hospital stays she spent every moment overseeing his care, sleeping there for days on end. I wonder if anyone realizes how difficult it is to have a disabled child. All the sleepless nights concerned over each breath. I know I didn't.


With each bout of illness came fear and worry of losing this adorable little child. So deeply loved by his parents. So what do you say to someone who has already lost a ten month old daughter less than two years ago, now a five year old? These children with an undiagnosed genetic disorder left their parents,friends and family totally distraught.The fact that he rallied and seemed to be doing so well the previous month made things all the more startling.


Instead of me, woman of many words finding the right sentences to comfort my friend in her days of need. Guess what, we cried together, and she so lovingly consoled me with her tender words. My dear friend of over twenty years, shared with me in detail, the last hours of her sons life.


Twelve loving people surrounded his bed, read him stories, sang his favorite songs as he laid there. His parents assured him of their love for him, what a precious gift he was to them and everyone who knew him. How his courage and strength amazed them, how honored and proud they were to have him as their son, then they gently let him go.


When he passed the sun shone so brightly through the window, on the other side a bright rainbow appeared as though the heavens opened up to receive him. Everyone felt the passing of his little life as spiritual moment of beauty. Although the moments of grief are dark and the pain grueling, every so often my friend gets a wonderful wave of peace. And she knows it’s her son, saying “Mommy it’s okay, I’m at peace now!”

11 comments:

Alberta and Ava said...

I have no words right now. My heart is too heavy, but I am praying for your dear friend. Thank you for sharing this.

americanising desi said...

beautiful sharing.. is all i can say... or else i m speechless!

take a peek into mine at
http://eternitycallsus.blogspot.com/2009/02/lost-without-losing.html

Tumblewords: said...

A tragedy. Any loss is difficult, this one doubly so. I wish them (and you) healing and the happiness that can be found in memories.

Granny Smith said...

My daughter lived the same tragedy, finally losing dear little Evie when he was nine years old.

I find that poetry helps a tiny bit. Here is what I wrote for Evie.

What would I bring to you? A broken blossom
Whose crushed scent bears a hint of summer day.
What would I sing to you? A wordless fragment
That haunts the mind and will not go away.

What can I tell of you? Just bits and pieces -
Blue eyes alight with flickering leaves and sky,
Flawed body striving to creep down the rampway,
Attempts at words your tangled nerves deny.

What will I remember? Sweet endurance
Of prisoned desires your voice could not express.
What have you left me? Arms that knew your softness
And - where you were - an aching emptiness.

My sympathy to you and your friend.

danni said...

each loss by death has its own particular kind of pain - a parent, sibling, child, spouse - marked by the uniquness of the relationship and its memories --- but grief is the most common denominator for those left behind and is a pain that we can all feel for others in its grip --- this double whammy will understandably make both of your friends losses feel compounded and rightly so --- she's extremely blessed to have a friend in you to help her through and to be a sharing advocate --- please let her know that there are total strangers who can feel her pain and send prayers and well wishes!!!

Mary Timme said...

I'm moved to think of how much we all lose when a person dies. So sad. So good to cry together. Comfort is a strange thing, sometime we didn't know we needed it until it comes. Blessings on all.

Patois said...

I'm so very sorry for all that they've lost. I wish I could offer you more than my prayers and sympathy.

Lucy said...

oh sherrie, reading further about your dear friends is so emotional. my prayers are with them and with his little soul.
I can't tell you how affected I am by their grief. It is truly an unimaginable loss.
I am happy that you are in their lives to try and help them through this impossible time. Even speechless, your love and support shines through.
xox

Marguerite said...

Prayers and sympathy to you and your friend. The prompt for this post could just as easily been LOVE, for your friend certainly portrayed an unselfish love in her care for her child. Thank you for sharing this story.

Tammy said...

I just can't get his face out of my head and the heaviness of my heart is suffocating.

I have a dear friend with 4 children. Two have SMA and have never walked. Every winter we pray they get through it. This is so close to my heart because we know it will steal them away.

HUGS dear Sherrie

Renee said...

And people in this world don't see. And people in this world complain for nothing.

I am sorry for your friend and for you.

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