Digital " Fathers and Children" by Happytiler
Sunday Scribblings prompt of the week is "Yes"
The moment a woman says yes to divorce she risks the father of her children becoming a complete stranger. A person she possibly never really knew. Chancing he will abandon his title and responsibility as dad too!
This week on face book I was disheartened to read many young adults griping about their fathers in support of a mother whose children were not informed or invited to their father’s nuptials. Those in their twenties revealing repulsion towards dads, who blatantly put forth no effort to understand, support, or care for their children's physical or emotional needs.
Many fathers jump hoops to meet their children’s needs . I personally know lots like that. Unfortunately there are more who walk away. Guilt free, rarely looking back, oblivious of the damage inflicted. Some will occasionally throw a pittance of compensation at the kids out of obligation.
Children of divorce are hurting! I saw in their words of disdain, competing for pity at whose father was the most neglectful. As women do we need to educate sons better on the importance of fatherhood and commitment to their offspring?
I was my brother’s conscience during divorce. Warning of early introductions to new partners, being Christmas daddy (giving them everything but correction on his time) at the mothers’ expense, and clearly listening open mind and heart to what your children need. Thankfully he’s made of the right stuff, my mother for one, innately putting his kids first. If he started to veer off path in anger, I steered him back. It’s paying off ten fold for him. He has a tender loving relationship with both children. They trump everything in his life, and know they’re loved implicitly!
Many children sound selfish gauging their importance by how much cash daddy throws their way. After all isn’t that what custody payments teach? It’s often all they get, if that! I hear over and over again, particularly from step parents, “the greedy spoiled kids want everything.” Well YES they do want everything, but you have it misconstrued. They want their dad back, they want life as they once knew it, they want security, they want to know they are loved by him, they want to matter more than a new girlfriend, a new car, a new job!!! They want their dad to know who they are, what they need, and how they feel!!! They want to know how their dad values them, they want his time, and to know what their worth is ….if they have to use cash as a gauge, they do! Guess what? The cash usually always falls short!!!
My hands are tied on this one as I have watched my own child suffer repeatedly
Cinderella, undervalued, and disregarded. Thankfully the slipper fit and she married her prince instead!
What will the ramifications be?
Fathers who forget
To know their children
Forget to feed their souls
Fathers who forgo
A Childs love
Deprive the roots
Wounded are the Children
On a Merry go round
By parental desertion
Smug is the adult offspring
A once forgotten child
Deciding his worth
On the dollar sum
A mandatory value
Fathers who forget
What babies implore
Pay a hefty fee
Restricted or impugned
While the leaves fall
from the family tree!
Quotes from Sidney Poitier
“The true measure of a man is how he provides for his children”
" But my dad also was a remarkable man, a good person, a principled individual, a man of integrity. "