A Humorous Story about my Brother

 Not sure if anyone clicked through to this funny story about my brother on my last post!  It was written in 2006 I  did another edit and decided to repost it!

It happened in the early Eighties  

Lifting weights and dieting since age twelve my brother has always believed in good nutrition. At thirty he won a bodybuilding contest. When I was married  I'd have the  family over every Christmas. Dearest brother would hunt through my fridge consuming bits of everything in sight. Deprived of junk food all year long, it was his time to indulge.
 
I  won a container of tiny cheese wedges the previous year at a Christmas party. Unappealing to me I never served them. God knows why I saved them that long. I must have thought I'd use them in a casserole one day. And hey, doesn’t cheese get better with age anyway? A year passed, they still sat in the bottom of my crisper. Brother rummaged through the  fridge and ate them. I noted the missing wedges. I asked how the cheese tasted, never divulging how old  they were. He said they were a little dry, but fine.

I often caught him rooting through cupboards  tasting a little of everything in sight too! Satisfying his year long restraint. As I prepared the house for Christmas dinner that year he scavenged my fridge again, mentioning  that the beef jerky I bought was disgusting. Suggesting  I should throw it out. Thrown off guard I had  no idea  what beef jerky he was talking about. He told me it was the one in the fridge. I stared dumbfounded, pausing to think for a second,  I declared there was no beef jerky in the fridge. He insisted he found it there. My fridge was always so full,  so I doubted myself.  Thinking there was a possibility I forgot buying it!

I questioned  him  more. Asking what it looked like, thinking he'd mistaken it for the pepperoni or Ukrainian sausage I bought. He told me the beef jerky was in a shiny green package. Still I couldn’t recall the package.  I asked what part of the fridge he found it. He insisted it was on the side door beside the eggs. Still unable to  recall  what the heck he was talking about I walked over to the fridge, opened the door. He barreled behind me,  grabbed the half eaten package and shoved it in my face. I looked at the package in shock, laughing hysterically. Dear brother  stood there perplexed as I continued to laugh uncontrollably. Over and over he kept asking me what it was, and why I was laughing so hard. Tears were streaming down my face, I couldn’t get my composure. Finally I blurted out that it was the beef jerky I’d bought for the dogs. He had devoured  half of  the dogs Christmas treat.

..
My ex continued to mock my brother the entire day. Although I was amused, the relentless teasing and smug attitude bordered on bullying.  I demanded my ex stop.  He wouldn’t. So I disclosed to my family that the previous week I'd ordered Chinese food. There was a huge plate of leftovers I  put it down for the dogs. They couldn’t eat it all so I wrapped it up and placed  it back in the fridge. Thinking they could finish it the next day. Before I could re-serve it to them, my ex  innocently warmed it up  and ate it for lunch.  I hadn't the  nerve to tell him, thinking what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. The continuous taunting of my brother, forced me to reveal that he had nothing to laugh about because the week before, he too had eaten the dogs food. In hearing this story, all the family laughed, and my ex never bugged my brother again.

The moral of the story is, Always read the labels, or don’t just  eat  random things out of a persons fridge without asking if it’s safe, especially if it's all mushed together under a piece of foil!