Quote of The Day

Friday, November 29, 2013

Paint Party Friday Grief

 Many people are grieving this holiday season. Whether it be  a long term marriage, an  illness,  or loss of a family member, it's always a difficult process. Usually rearing  it's ugly head at the oddest most inconvenient moments. 
Years ago  a wave of grief flooded over me at a bar, everyone was dancing.... it was dark and loud allowing my tears to run freely without much notice! Another time a wave of denial washed over  my mind, tricking me into thinking the person was still alive, away on a golf trip. The truth of my denial came whooshing in so strong. Twenty years later I still remember the red light I was sitting at when I was saturated with the reality of that grief. 

 It's the covert moments that can stump you too! Moments when  your true character is   replaced with bazaar behaviour.   Nobody knows whats going on. Not even you. Eventually the disturbing outburst are  realised to be grief again knocking at the door wearing a different hat!

These feelings are deep and dark whether you lose a friendship, family member, a marriage or a job there is a finally that can be hard to accept. I liken in to your computer crashing,  losing years of  data, writing, artwork and photos never to be retrieved or restructured again..... times one thousand!!  
 
Six  months or more after  mom died, we were out for brunch at a place that advertised raspberry pie.  I'm not a huge pie lover, unless of course it is top notch like mom made.  I am always leery of bad  pastry and never order pie when I'm out. The one time I wanted to order Raspberry pie it was sold out... So I sat quietly in my seat then  had a melt down over raspberry pie!! Not a good scene for a fat lady! On a normal day I could care less if that pie sold out....after rationalising my crazy outburst   I realised my mother was the only one who could make a good raspberry pie and many childhood memories were linked into that pie.  At the time I had no idea twenty years later my daughter would replicate that very same pie just as yummy!
I have fought through so much grief in my life, and from all the loss  suffered I know one thing for sure. There are better days ahead. They will never be the same, but many wonderful things are born of grief. Beautiful music, poetry and art. New relationships, new perspectives, new appreciations and  former events recreated! 
 As sad and lonely as grief can feel, I promise there will be better days ahead...different days, where you laugh more often, feel joy again, need less, see clearer, revel in new experiences,  cherish your memories and feel peace again!
So during this often frenetic season where time is of the essence, people are feeling impatient, overworked, overwhelmed and frustrated, I'm going to try and remember  that others may be carrying an even heavier burden and might need  to be treated with a little more kindness and love!


If you've ever dealt with grief what  did you find most comforting during the  holiday celebrations?
This is my contribution for Paint Party Friday and Art everyday month

27 comments:

Karla B said...

I feel the same, my friend. Life does go on and there is no time for self-pity.Every day when I go to sleep, I say Thanks God, Thanks Goddess, I am a happy woman. It doesn't matter how hard life is, things always change.Love your art and your wise words.Happy PPF!

Valerie-Jael said...

Lovely post, We all carry our burdens and grief sometimes seem to knock us out, but we have to accept it as it is and go on! Wishin you lots of happy times and raspeberry pies! Hugs, Valerie

Corrine at sparkledaysstudio.com said...

Another great post as always. I was thinking of my Dad all day yesterday and couldn't believe it's been 11 years since he passed and was kind of grumpy until my BIL, who hardly ever says anything nice mentioned that he though my Dad was a really nice guy and he missed him. That lifted my spirits and the overwhelming feeling of grief disappeared. Sometimes saying it out loud helps. xox

Victoria said...

Beautiful art, very moving and emotional and expressive...love that sweet soulful doggy..! Thanks for sharing your heart and stories and your wisdom too. When in grief I think everyone should do what honors them and where they are on their journey..whether they wish to be alone or with others...whatever feels best and most helpful and healing for them. each day is precious and we celebrate it always!
Hugs kindred..thanks for your deeply touching post.
V

SLScheibe said...

This is a wonderful post and very timely for me. Thanks for sharing your wonderful words and beautiful art. It's always lovely here.

sharon said...

Love your art this week, the two faces tug at my heart. I have learnt that grief usually brings new beginnings, but sometimes it is hard to see it when you are in the thick of it, lol. Wonderful words friend, have a good week.

Jez said...

All beautiful art pieces, I love the sad two faces, and all the lovely colour changes match the feelings so well. A very thought-provoking post as always, and heartfelt by so many. As you say, changes can come from grief, and I have been touched by the fact that my eldest granddaughter has become much closer to me since her mother's death. Your writing skills are tremendous, and loved by so many of us. Thank you Giggles. XXX

Netty said...

Thank you for sharing what must be your raw emotions Giggles. I love all your artwork. Happy PPF, Annette x

Linda said...

Beautiful art, but I can sense the sadness in them. Beautiful heartfelt posting again. I love what you said about remembering others and that they may be going through a really bad time. If everyone could shift their thoughts like that wouldn't this be a much kinder and loving place? Wishing you a big "happy dance" weekend!

Christine said...

nice post, necessary in this season! Cute art too.

Abigail Davidson said...

It's beautiful to see you bring emotion into your artwork! Creating can be very helpful, and very true words of wisdom! Wish you the best and thank you for sharing!

Ginny said...

I want to thank you for sharing so much of yourself each week. I always feel a little richer after reading your post ( and most times reading it again and then again.) This is a hard season for many many people. I try to be aware of that and to be as patient as I can be with the people who may seem out-of-sorts or frazzled.

Personally, I try to make the season as simple as possible. This seems to work best in our household. It is amazing how less is often more.

I do love your girl in all of her different colors.

Carol said...

It's always a blessing to come here and read your words from the heart and enjoy your amazing art. Wishing you and yours the best Holiday season and thanks fro sharing that delicious Banana Bread recipe ♥ It was devoured in a flash :)

Tarang Sinha said...

Nice expression!:)

www.dorissdaughter.com said...

Times of celebration are the times most people share with their loved ones. I know I miss my mother every day but Christmas and birthdays are the hardest. I deal with my grief by raising a toast to those we have loved and lost, remembering them and including their memories in our celebrations :)

Alpha Shanahan said...

i love love love your art and the way it expresses so much emotion. I have grieved deeply many many years ago, and art was my refuge. Although i realized i have somehow closed in on myself too, i guess my way of coping from not getting deeply hurt again. Art journaling invites me to let go, be vulnerable, be raw and honest. I have not reached that point yet, but Life knows best and is bringing me to a place where i can be that. Time for more healing... Thanks for a wonderful post and thanks for leaving a comment in my blog. melinda 27

soulbrush said...

This really touched my heart. And it is all so true. There are so many elderly people all alone at Christmas, and in fact all year round. It makes us grateful for what we have, but we need to maybe get out there and invite one of them to our house this Xmas!! Adopt a granny this year ( or a grandpa).

denthe said...

Love your art this week, especially the two faces. I've noticed that the closer we come to Christmas the more my sister is in my memory. It's the first Christmas without her, the first time I can't send her a Christmascard, and at the moment I can't find anything comforting yet. Grief never goes away. Life gets easier, the grief is not so overwhelming anymore, but it stays. And it keeps coming back in waves that are sometimes more and sometimes less bearable ....

kat said...

Sherrie your art and words are so good for the soul! My grandad died nearly twenty years ago, he was 77 and it was a shock. I was close to him and that was hard, especially since he left gran on her own and we all lived far away, that made it harder. I like to believe that my grandad is close by watching over us and special memories of him are treasures!

Nic McLean said...

Another great post - you always get right to the heart of the matter with these thoughtful posts. I think I've been very lucky in my life so far that I haven't experienced too much the grief of a loved one dying - although of course I know it is ahead of me. Your post did make me think of a boy I once knew, I dated briefly but we were friends mostly and he was a fisherman in Ireland. something happened and he fell overboard. At the time we were on a working holiday in Germany just after college finished and we heard the news. A few days after we heard I had a dream that he was preparing to go on a trip and I was helping him put his rucksack on his back and hugging him goodbye. The next day we heard his body had been found. It was a few months later that I went back to the town where he lived and spent the whole night looking up every time the door to his local bar opened. It really only hit me then that he was really dead and the grief hit me in a huge wave. It was like, because I'd been away when it happened it hadn't seemed real and being in his home town made it real.

MeOfCourse said...

Hi Giggles. Your post is beautiful. Yes we all have our grief, some much more than others. We all know thought that we have to go on and we do. Sending you lots of happy thoughts and happy holidays as well. Your work is just awesome. Love all your faces. Thank you.
gloria

miz katie said...

Just yesterday I thought about calling my Mom to tell her something important...then reality hit me. ugh. xoxo Hugs to you!!

Zafaran said...

Giggles, I am awed by the honest tone, sincerity in your post. Complete with the many faces, phases of grief comes the dawning that, yes, eventually one does learn to look back on all the experiences and understand that they were halting posts on the journey of life. It must go on and get enriched by newer, better or bitter experiences. Thank you for the post that resonates with my emotions.

Pia Rom said...

Grief is of course a part of life like happyness and I try to enjoy both of them....for me all the loved ones who had decide to be in the other space are so near...sometimes nearer than in real life...don´t know if that makes sense, but that doesn´t mean I wouldn´t pay all my money to spend an hour in real life with them :) Thank you for a wonderful post again! ♥ Conny ♥
Mix It Monthly

NatashaMay said...

I love your colorful paintings! Wishing you grief-less happy holidays. :)

Goldfish Diaries said...

Beautiful post! A wonderfully written piece for everyone as we will all experience grief in some way many times in our lives. Working in a flower shop I realized that the more strange a customer was acting, the better the chance that they were grieving. Loved the art too!!

minnemie said...

I am several weeks late to this one... but what a beautiful post... and timely for me...we lost my brother last year... heard the news November 29... a year ago to the day of your post. The year before that 2 people who were like parents to me died in a terrible collision. Hard season for sure. I so appreciate your words. Permission to grieve. Tenderness and encouragement extended. Thank you... And your piece of art is so beautifully expressive of what the heart feels...

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