Quote of The Day

Thursday, April 19, 2018

Following the Angst


Still working on my #100dayproject2018
 Sometimes out of nowhere you get a
 feeling. Or a thought about a person
 you haven't seen or spoken to 
 in years! It nags you until you 
indulge it by doing a google search!
Recently I had a really strong 
feeling about a cousin, dads
 sisters son!  More than a 
a decade my senior, we lost
 touch after his mom died. 
Thirteen years ago I bumped 
into him  at a mall, we sat in
 the food court and caught up!
 He apprised me of a time 
 he saw me at a coffee shop.
I was with two girlfriends! 
It was surprising that he never
addressed me that day as
his parents were always so
jovial!
He was probably amused
  that I hadn't  recognized
 him eavesdropping! I
  vaguely remembered
an older male sitting 
 kitty corner to us.
We caught up a bit more,
then parted ways. I haven't
  heard  from him since! Then
 March 30th this year my angst
  to look him up was haunting! 
Unfortunately he's from the 
generation not always internet
savvy! So it was a bit more of
a challenge to find him!
  I persisted in my search
  and found an obituary. 
 His wife of 54 years had recently
passed March first! The funeral
was March 29th one day before
  my incessant google search! 
Only seventy one she'd been
living in a care home! In lieu
of flowers they requested 
donations to the Alzheimer
society! Which I found odd
since she had Crohns disease
from the age of seventeen
and wasn't expected to live
past thirty! I had a little cry
for my cousin and his family! 
I was shocked at where my 
intuition lead me! They
were such a close couple 
and I'm sure the loss has
been devastating for him!

 Then last week I had another
angst to find an old childhood
  Friend! Mature  well beyond
our years we spent countless
  hours together as kids. Sharing
 secrets, cooking, singing,
 chasing boys and camping! We   
went to the same Sunday 
school and youth group, slept
at each others homes almost
weekly for years. We got into
a lot of mischief together!
 I was a year older, her sarcasm 
was biting  at times, eventually our 
friendship  waned in our mid teens!
 For the sake of nostalgia I had
her   stand up at my wedding.
Then I moved away, she  followed
 a different path and we lost touch!
  My memories of her have always 
held a  special place in my heart!
As a young woman  she was in hotel 
management, and once  featured in the
 Newspaper having had a professional 
makeover.  I kept the article! 
 For some reason there was this 
deep nagging feeling  to peek in on 
my friend. Not to contact her, but
to see if she had a family. I'd
always wondered if she'd ever 
pursued writing since she
was quite a wonderful writer
as a young girl! We were two
creative souls who had not
yet realize our full potential
during our friendship!

I found my friend. We both have only 
children with  very unique names!
At ten we kibitzed about what  we would
 name our children. At the time I wanted
 to call a daughter Paisley...but my partner
balked at it! My former friend also had
something unique in mind but never
followed through! Her daughters  
instagram was very informative. 
 Sadly my friends loving husband
  passed away September 2017 I
 never met him...   it would have been 
his 60th birthday a few days before I
 started my search for her!
It was amazing to see  how much
  my friends daughter  resembles
her mother. Certain poses were
 exactly the same...she is built 
almost identical to her mom. 
It was heartwarming to see,
as my mind reminisced!
Spring is here...photo credit Cupcake
 I've said several prayers for my 
 old friend and wish her well. 
This sounds terrible, but I have
no desire or energy to reignite
  that friendship. I can barely
 keep up to my current 
relationships! Including
friends and family! But
for some reason my intuition
was determined to arouse
and inform me! I'm still
processing all this recent
information... 
Do you have any fond memories of people
  you have no desire to reconnect with? 

15 comments:

Christine said...

Lovely art this week Giggles! It's amazing these days you can reconnect with people online if you so choose.

JKW said...

Amazing blog. . .My best girlfriend since 3rd grade is still my best girlfriend. We have kept up all these years. . .It is a blessing. I've wondered about classmates over the years and have been fortunate to go to some of the reunions. Another best girlfriend died young. . .we got together a few years before she passed. It was great being with her once again. I lost my husband at 60 he would have been 61 a month and a half later. That was years ago. So sorry that you weren't able to reconnect it is so special these people and time is so fragile. Love your portraits. Blessings, Janet

Valerie-Jael said...

It must be interesting to look up people from the past, but at the moment I have no wishes to do so. Getting through the present is my goal! Happy PPF, hugs, Valerie

sirkkis said...

You have great instincts. Interesting to read about them.
I still have contact to my best frend from high school time. She moved to Canada in 60ths and we send every year Christmas cards and some words. Sometimes photos by e-mail too.
Your portraits are stunning, Love them.
Happy PPF and weekend ♥





froebelsternchen said...

I often search after my schoolfriends or so and even found out that some of them had made careers. But as I was in a classy boarding school where many kids of V.I.P.'s were, that is no big surprise after all.
I meet with my girl cousin who visits Vienna in April, she lived 40 years in Australia now and we will meet my other three cousins (her siblings)as well. Haven't seen them all for at least 18 years. I am looking forward to this!
You are a very intuitive person Sherrie and a big artistic soul - I love all this portraits!
Happy weekend , take good care of you!
Hugs, Susi

Linda Kunsman said...

wonderful, expressive faces!! I think the internet is so good for finding information and people without any embarrassment or need to connect further. I am still besties with my closest friends from 1st grade but I have looked for a few others that were dear friends at one time too. One or two I found but not the few others, and no I din't reignite the friendships. I just wanted to know they did well. Great conversation today! I bet lots of us now will be thinking about past family and friends... happy PPF!

SLScheibe said...

I so love all of your wonderful faces! They're beautiful, all of them :)

I have looked up old friends from school just to see what they're up to but have little desire to reconnect. I'm always glad to see them happy with families and friends. It's a nice feeling to know they're happy. But I have too much on to contact them I think. Maybe it would feel weird too, LOL.

Sandee Setliff said...

You seem to be very intuitive for sure! Enjoyed looking at all your portraits. Sometimes I "stalk" past friends on FB but rarely contact them, I just like to see what they look like now and to see their families, then I am happy and move on.

Katie Jeanne said...

Interest blog post, G. I like today a lot more than yesterday, so I have no desire to reconnect with people from my past. I'm always looking forward, as if the best is yet to come. :) Let's hope so!!

denthe said...

I am really loving your collection of faces this week Sherrie! Somehow they look different than before, more contemplative, more sad,... I'm not sure. I've also followed sudden urges to look up people from the past, and sometimes they looked me up. With some I stayed in contact through mail for a while, but after some time that somehow dies down. And it's okay that way. There's a reason they're not in my life anymore. The ones I want in my life are still there.... I can perfectly understand your need to look her up, and then decide not to reconnect....

Faye said...

Love your art this week, Sherrie. My belief system says that you were nudged to investigate and find out about those whom you did. I think the friend you chose not to reconnect with probably was going through something and needed those prayers. You are such a kind-hearted soul. I have reconnected with some high school friends through FB. I'm not sure I'd want to be real time friends with some of them, though. Like you, I like to use the internet to check up on people who once were a part of my life. Have a great weekend.

Gillena Cox said...

Good to hear of your re-connections online, Giggles.
luv your face paintings today

HAPPY PPF

much love...

NatureFootstep said...

Love your post and art. :) To answer your question, no, not really. I rarely had any close friends.

Beth Niquette said...

Your faces are bold and stunning. When I get a "vague" hunch, or a sense I need to contact someone--I try to follow through. It usually means something has happened in their lives. <3

Jenn Jilks said...

Stunning art pieces. Your stories are bittersweet.
I have few friends that have time these days. Your intuition is amazing.

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