Quote of The Day

Thursday, March 10, 2016

The Neighbour

Mom had a bad hip, like her mother before her. So she retired a tad early. Sadly dad passed before they could enjoy their many planned activities during retirement! They adored each others company, but unfortunately because they drank and smoked heavily as did so many of that generation, their extensive retirement plans were cut short!
Karass Face #31
Mom nursed her broken heart by  reading, golfing, puttering, making pies,crocheting, growing vegetables!. Like myself, she cherished her alone time and could always amuse
herself with hobbies!  It didn't mean she wasn't social, just  not all the time!!
She would often retreat to her summer place across the line. A little single wide mobile home near the golf course A married friend from home, also a golfer, owned a place across the way! Connie often landed on moms door step at the most inconvenient times!! So mom started to leave her curtains closed a little longer each day hoping not to be disturbed
That  didn't stop Connie who often queried why moms curtains were closed so long A kind generous woman, mom loved her, but really hated the many uninvited interruptions to her lifeConnie had  way too many suggestion of how mom should  structure her day!! Which mom preferred  to take at her own pace. In retrospect I think moms bad hip possibly attributed to  how she planned certain activities.
Maggie  crazy colour Face #32 for the Anything but Cute art challenge
She once confided there were days she just wanted to read her book but Connie would  badger  her get her gardens done , or  plan other  activities for her day.  I assured mom  she should do as she pleased at that juncture since she spent a large majority of her sixty years working hard and putting everyone first before herself! I think she was relieved to hear an affirmation to live as she pleased!  I hope she did since she was gone a few years later!
I once had a neighbour, a stay at home mom of four,  who'd be standing in the yard when I arrived home from work. She'd corner me and ask what I was doing the next day. Somehow she had radar for my days off. It always threw me for a loop.  I wanted to scream, "I'M DOING EVERYTHING I DIDN'T GET DONE DURING THE DAYS I WAS WORKING!"  But before I could answer she would  entice me to visit with my daughter so our kids could play! 
She knew Cupcake was my weak spot,  which I easily let trump my time for housework. Instead I spent the wee hours of the night cleaning like a crazy woman so I could fit this woman into my day off!! Although her intentions were well meaning, the interruption to my day was so  annoying. Many times I had to say no
There was no real chemistry with this lady. Too many lulls in our conversation. She had  no substance, unlike my friends outside the neighbourhood! It was more about our children having a play date. It's possibly she was  lonely since her engineer husband worked very long hours!  Her mothering skills were unreasonable to me. So after a few years our relationship waned and she was onto her next victim, whose time she also monopolized!! Over the years I watched her have a go at every neighbour with the end result not  favorable!
Isla Face #33
Looking back I should have set boundaries with that woman a lot earlier. We had nothing in common. I'd often cut the lawn after work, before my husband arrived home as a surprise for him. Her husband tried to convince her she should do the same to no avail. Maybe if she had a hobby other than cooking  she'd have less time to bother others!

When I moved here eighteen years ago I set some strict boundaries early since I was a newly single mom. It's  close  quarters here and I preferred to keep my daughter and I safe! I don't like people on my doorstep because  my alone time is precious, as is my daughter! 
Don't get me wrong I've  had neighbours over the years become life long friends. However I intuitively  knew it would be better to stay uninvolved this time! Sure enough I have guarded my soft place to fall from some pretty hefty neighbourhood drama! I would  chat to neighbours on rare occasions, and wave hello. It may sound cold but it sure protects your creative time! Even when my best friend lived down the road we were extremely  respectful of each others time. Always calling first to make plans, and giving each other an out without reason! Many neighbours have come and gone, a few have stayed almost as long as me, and thankfully  we all still  enjoy  a nice, quiet, private lifestyle with lots of creative time!
Have you had bothersome  energy vampire neighbours? 
How did you deal with it?

I made this for March 8th!


DVArtist said...

Great post and as always with wonderful art to accompany it. Seriously I have not had any pesky neighbors. Have a great weekend.

Valerie-Jael said...

Fun post! I have some kind neighbours, but none who are interfering, and that's the way I like it. Happy PPF, hugs, Valerie

Kate Robertson said...

A fun post, sorry about the neighbors, mine have always been great.


Ritu Dua said...

That was a good read indeed !! And the art accompanying beautiful!

Christine said...

Nice art to go with your pesky neighbour post today! My neighbours are ok, we all tend to keep to ourselves and will have the odd chat if we meet outdoors, shovelling or mowing the grass etc.

kat said...

Oh I love these, especially the colourful nose lady. I too love my space and private time so understand how you felt with that neighbour. It can be hard if you have someone so close swamping your time and space.
I've been quite lucky with neighbours but can well imagine how hard it could be with the wrong sort around.

sirkkis said...

What an interesting story with great portraits. Yes, once I had one who hated dogs. And I had two of them. I moved another place where I could live in piece wirh my dear dogs.
Happy PPF xx

froebelsternchen said...

Beautiful art this week again - the header is brilliant and I enjoyed the whole story .. surprised by the many parallels to my personal life - my mother was the same person like yours - even with a fixed mobile weekend home -lol!
I try do not have to close interactions with neighbours - just greeting and exchanging some words is the best - I had similiar experiences in the past - specially as my girl was a mini --- that's LIFE!

Anonymous said...

Herman looks so sympathetic!

Sorry about those neighbors, luckily I've had always quite decent ones.

Sandy said...

hmm Neighbors hey they can be tricky. Loving all the bright colourful faces in your blog post today. I especially liked the floppy dog at the start, he is awesome.
Happy PPF 6th birthday celebration..
Vicki-Ann :)

Laila said...

Oh it's a well known story you share today. We do learn from experiences like that, and know it next time we meet such a person. My experience is that I cherish my time differently with age. I no longer want to be part of something that feels meaningless.
Beautiful creative works as well today.

My name is Erika. said...

Cute paintings (especially the little dog!)-and I love those bunnies on your header. And I unfortunately have met people like the ones you described, and I am also a time to myself person. In fact I have a kid at school is who one of those people too. For me it is always a weakness on my part that I feel bad for them...not so much adults but the kids at school. Sometimes I get mad at myself that I should stand up to them more, but with high school kids it is always tough to do that. happy PPF and happy Friday.

Linda Kunsman said...

First off, I LOVE your Easter header!! You've also created another fab collection of characters and faces too. I admire all that you accomplish! Dealing with neighbors CAN be very tricky but throughout my life I have learned to deal with them in a non threatening way. We have also been fortunate to have many really great neighbors too. Happy PPF!

Indira said...

Great art and great post. My neighbor on the right side is a great guy. The one on the left keep to themselves.

Faye said...

Enjoyed your post, Sherrie. I am fortunate that my new neighbors know to call first before coming over. They have adopted me, I think, and for that I am forever grateful. I am alone the days I don't do volunteer work which is several times a week. My wonderful neighbors have had me over for dinner at least once a month since they moved into the neighborhood about 8 months ago. I do enjoy my alone time. I feel that your mother got short changed on her own alone time. Sometimes it is necessary to let others know of the boundaries needed. In my case, I never see most of my neighbors except as they drive past. The lots are from 2 to 12 acres so houses are not close. I deliberately do activities that give me social contacts away from here.

Bestdayblogger said...

Lovely artwork! happy Paint Party Friday! I had to move once because of my neighbours and I'm glad I did because I got to live close to my mother. It was a blessing in a way. :)

Julene said...

Your paintings are so pretty and interesting to look at. Your use of color is fantastic and makes me want to branch out. The faces make me happy.
As far as neighbors go, I'm left alone unless someone calls. But, I am still working part time, sometimes it's full time and don't have many stay at home days. Learning how to have healthy boundaries is a good thing to know because of people like your mom lived near. I'd keep my curtains closed, too. I don't mind if people stop by but not all the time. It's nice to call your own schedule and free time! It sounds like your doing a good job!

Robin said...

Great read Giggles!!! Yes very often I would have "those" kind of neighbors. I could never say NO. I would accommodate and assist everyone no matter what was happening in my life.Washing dishes late at night was me too. Now that I am older, my kids are grown and I have chronic pain from several health issues, I found out that I handle it much differently. After moving into my own home a year ago, I had a next door neighbor that constantly called me so she could come over because she was upset with her husband and needed to vent. Later I found out that she would tell him that I needed to talk so she was coming over to comfort me! The finale was when she called me from her part time job to watch her house and let her know when her husband left and came home...all this in less than two months. I would even tell her when I wasn't feeling well and in a lot of pain that I couldn't have her over she would practically beg to let her come over. Finally I just told her that I realized we were not even friends. She was using me and I could no longer take it and asking me to spy on her husband was horrid. Now she doesn't talk to me at all...oh well! So yes I really enjoyed your post today. Sad that your parents were not able to spend their later years together. I guess that reminds me there is only now. Big hugs to you! Rasz

Robin said...

Forgot to tell you how much I enjoyed your artwork and the changing colors!

GlorV1 said...

No pesky neighbors around here. Tee hee. Loved your story and the artwork. Always a pleasure to visit.:)

Studio Kaufmann said...

I quite like living where I live because everyone is pretty antisocial and do not want to be friends...so I am left in peace. I do love having friends though where you can just barge into their house at any time and open their fridge and they can do it to you too. But if the chemistry isn't there the friendship won't work. Love your faces. Happy PPF

Lynn Cohen said...

Love the art today. Love how the white or other colored stripe down the noses makes the faces pop!!!!
No, I think I am the neighbor grunge! LOL I bother my neighbors for HELP all the time. One is a computer guru and he comes at my beck and call whenever my computer has an issue! He and his grown son have rebuilt my back gate! His wife, a nurse, has come running when husband had a heart condition; They collect my mail for me when we go on vacation, and watch the house for bad guys. If they aren't home I turn to the neighbor on the other side. It's been a series of young couples with kids over the years. The current guy has picked up fruit from trees in the back yard when we were away, and I just went over when I was cooking something that needed a "splash of wine" and I bought a bottle with a cork but didn't any longer own a cork screw opener. They did. I love my neighbors. I have a stand and chat relationship with the ones across the street. Except for the young couple we have all been here over 28 years. The computer guy is moving in two years when his wife retires. I am sure I will go into total grieving mode when they do. I want to tell him to only sell to someone who is as good as he is with computers and friendly.
I can't remember ever being infringed upon by a neighbor.

Lynn Cohen said...

PS: I really LOVE THE bunnies in your header! Great heads!

DVArtist said...

Thank you so much for your kind and loving words. I did do something nice for me and DH. Dick Blick order. Yayyyy. Hugs to you dear friend.

Carol said...

I've been pretty lucky as far as neighbors go. Other than when my mother-in-law lived across the street and would just walk in unannounced. If I locked the doors she would call and if I didn't answer she would call the police and tell them something had to be wrong because I wouldn't dream of locking her out. :( It was rough 2 years and then we moved to the country !!!! Several years later she ended up living with us because of her dementia and I often wondered if she had the early stages when I lived across the street.

Unknown said...

OMG your lovely faces are so cute! I love the vibrant colors... and the "vampire neighbors" are the best!
Michelle aka MiSchra

Neesie said...

Great post Giggles and fantastic colourful art as usual.
My father was always telling us what he was going to do when he retired. He died when I was 16 and he was only 47!
I've always said live for today ever since then.
My mum lived 34 years without him until she finally joined him a few years ago. Your Mum sounds like she certainly knew how to use her time. I have no problem either with being alone or being social.
But it's such a pity that some people just don't get that intuitive thing... about reading between the lines, or having empathy.
Where I'm living now I don't have neighbours nearby... when we pass we exchange waves or a quick word and that's it. Fine by me because they know and I know that if there was anything needed we could call for help. I like it that way.
Have a wonderful weekend doing just as you please (hehe)

sheila 77 said...

I've been here about three times now, admiring all the art and the stories. There is so much energy coming out from your blogpost, Giggles.
We used to have older neighbours whom we occasionally visited but only when invited and vice versa, but now the neighbours are younger and usually out at work or looking stressed at weekends.
Wonderful art here - I love Karass face with the two parrots and am wondering if this is your best face yet, what do you think?
Isla is very thoughtful, I think, hope she is not thinking of visiting you right now, haha!
I enjoyed reading all the comments and got lost once in your marvellous sidebar of other blogs.

Silke Powers said...

What a great post! I'm so much like you! I like to spend my free time the way I wan to. I am quite the recluse when it comes to neighbors. I wave hi and occasionally chat, but other than that I want our private lives to be just that. Add to that that we have four families with 16 small children between them living around us and you can just imagine the noise level in the afternoons! I prefer our peaceful home with our furry babies... xoxo Silke

Cocofolies said...

Oh, fabulous fun post!!!!
Thank you so much for your lovely comment on my blog, which allows me to discover you dear Giggle! :D
Your paintings are really striking... interesting and beautiful too!!
And the story in between gave me big smiles behind my PC.. despite the barrier of language since I'm French, I have loved reading you! I can understand most of the words and sentences and the global meaning, perfectly :)
Thank you for your unique style, I will be back on your blog as soon as possible to see more.
Hugs, Coco

Pawsitively Creative said...

What an interesting and fun post. Your Maggie girl is truly a vibrant and colorful design with a dose of fun in the mix! Splendid color choices and her hat is awesome sauce, as well as her colorful nose. Pesky neighbors are not something I have had to deal with, but it sure is an interesting read.

Thanks for joining in our "Crazy for Colour" challenge at Anything But Cute! Hugz. ~Niki DT

Cec said...

Fun post to read and lots of bright art to go with it. Thanks for joining us at Anything But Cute.

Vintagehandmade said...

Fun and interesting post to read! Your art works are simply awesome with all those vibrant and yummy colours! Thank you so much for joining in our Crazy For Colour challenge at Anything But Cute! Branka DT xx

Jess said...

When my children were little I had a next door neighbour who was knocking at my door every day when she couldn't catch me over the garden fence. Where we live now, all the neighbours do their best to never speak to anyone, that's how it is in this neighbourhood. I've gone from one extreme to the next!
Now I make arrangements to see friends so that I can have time to create on my own, a good balance I think.
Beautiful vibrant paintings! Jess xx

Lina Narcisi said...

Unfortunately I have neighbors with small children who run a lot and make noise. In the evening I would like to be able to enjoy the silence of my home and this is often not possible. Congratulations for the beautiful art work you have done.

Blessings Lina.

Lisabella Russo said...

Wonderful post and wonderful art! So many beautiful colors. Certainly I think it's important to guard your time, it's so easy to get distracted.

Tracey FK said...

I totally get where this post is coming from, and we have spent time gently disengaging from the neighbourhood madness... there are lots of new families moving in as the elderly are sadly leaving us, and they tend to cluster together... sometimes I want to warn them of what is coming if they don't create some boundaries, but they too will work it out! Creative time and family time is to be protected at all costs!!!

Nordljus said...

I love your blog header! Herman looks like he's in need of a cuddle :). I couldn't bear neighbours, or even friends, who just come over without notice, all the time. Not even my Mum does that. Thankfully, I have neighbours who are friendly but leave you alone.

Christine said...

I linked to you the other day Giggles!
Avocado oil

Granny Annie said...

This post reminded me of many things in my own life. Parents, neighbors, days as a single parent. Meanwhile viewing your art gallery while reading was a bonus. You are very talented.
EAGHL http://trigra.blogspot.com

Irene Rafael said...

Hello Giggles, I have lived in my current home for the longest period of time I have ever stayed in one house... 23 years. I have seen neighbors come and go but for the most part it is a very stable neighborhood. It turns out that the latest neighbor who moved in across the street is a woman I knew from my former community. We were hello friends and did not know each other in a deeper way. That's how it was when she moved in. But over the years we have become friends and both respectful or each other's space. She is a wonderful person and I am lucky to have her live so close. I, it sounds like you, like my space and free time to create or think about creating. My husband honors and admires these qualities in me as well. Have a lovely week.

xo Irene

Christine said...

Giggles the avocado oil with natural popcorn's amazing, thank you!

Samra said...

Thank you so much for joining our Crazy for Colors challenge at Anything But Cute!
Samra DT
Paper Talk with Samra

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