I kind of get a chuckle at everyone trying to figure out why people are fat. Now they say they have narrowed it down to the addiction hormone and that’s why we’re fat.My thin daughter heard that and piped up in her blatant tone, "you're not addicted to food!!" Thank you Pepper but here are my Thirteen reasons why I’m fat (Gross or large) and don’t lose weight!
To stave off all the young lovers banging down my door! (Oh yeah that was in my dream!)
I never move when I do Art! ( take that as you will)
I have cement blocks attached to my feet….and can’t leave my computer ( that's my story and I'm stickin to it!)
If I lose weigh my clothes will fall off ( and that WOULD be SCARY!)
I like pretending I am the cookie monster! ( Been doin it for YEARRRSSS, obviously!)
Scrabble is my real lover, and he says he likes me for my mind! ( I've also had affairs with reading, blogging, and I'm cheating with ART)
I refuse to eat anything that doesn’t taste marvelous! ( I gag on fat free food and choke on anything dry)
I like being the biggest one in my group
I like the occasional pop with my spirits! ( or spirits with my pop)
My best friends are Mayo, Dressing made with mayo, and Sour Cream! ( and all the high calorie cousins)
I can’t afford new bras ( that would be increments in the later half of the alphabet)
Instant gratification is my intimate partner, and he force feeds me!
Okay okay the real truth is..... I am training for a hotdog contest! ( my daughter was concerned you might believe this one!)