International Womans Day 2010

I’ve spent many hours contemplating this picture sitting above my bathtub.  Loving the rich colors  yet frustrated by the placement of small silver hearts. I considered painting them out., but I enjoy the depth the polka dots produce. Still these hearts seem displaced, they just don’t fit.

Saturday a rare visit to my childhood home town I  observed the frenetic bustle of people with new eyes. People of all ages groomed to the max.  Funky expensive hair styles, tailored coats , majority of  women grocery shopping in high heels exiting BMW’s, Cadillac’s, Mercedes  even a white Rolls Royce owned by a very spiffy old couple. I felt like a foreigner, sitting in my 18 year old renegade, wearing comfortable cushion style Merrel clogs, and fat lady jeans.  Realizing I don’t fit in now and NEVER did. Not with my mom, not with  my cousins, and often not with expectations placed upon me.

I wore quirky hats from an early age, fashionable or not I always loved them.  I crocheted  a red hat with stars when I was fifteen, wearing it proudly with a red corduroy dress  over my black pants as a makeshift coat. In my twenties I walked into a Bowling alley with patterned leggings that’s nearly threw my mother off her feet in shock. The disdain on her face along with her words were biting. An unwelcome greeting for the daughter she’d rarely spent time with in previous months. I’d embarrassed her too many times to mention. 

So as I looked up at the my painting on the wall, those silver hearts gained new meaning trying to fit amongst the rich, larger than life swirls. Like me they don’t fit, yet in the scheme of things they appear to have more depth. And on this International Woman’s day I’m proud to finally say……..”it’s okay not to fit in, it okay to be me!” 

I guess sometimes art really does imitate life!!


Posted yearly is this poem I wrote 2006 specifically for this day!

My International Woman's Day poem written in 2006 for ALL Women

 

Mother, daughter, Sister, Lover

I am a woman, and I cry when no one can hear
I have huge dreams, I never share
I have fantasies, I dare not reveal
I have unrequited love, that is never recognized

I am the white noise in the home
Persistently preparing, repairing and doing at all times
I love deeply, with vision, constant hope, pride and joy
I have a relentless faith, in life, in god, in family, in future

I carry the burdens and secrets of others
Hold guilt to my heart, where empathy,
Forgiveness and optimism obstinately reside
Often suppressing passion, and creativity

I do my duties without fail, or resentment
I stand alone in my failures and regrets
I give, even when there is but a pittance
I get less, expect less, and take less, feeling like I am less

I am taken for granted, heard with rare acceptance
I am courageous, beyond my expectations
I am the unpaid teacher, waitress, homemaker, and psychologist
I am the solver of problems, and scarcely put first

I have thoughts, I feel ashamed to share
I have wants, I will never reveal
I have needs that no one will heed
I have a lonely soul, which I can not seem to feed

I am a woman, and I cry alone, about what isn’t
What will never be, what is lost, forgotten, not forgiven
Not recognized, or realized, or capitalized, I cry about
Poverty, and love forlorn, for loved ones, and love forgotten

I am a woman, resilient in majestic proportions,
I am a woman, of maternal magnificence
I am a woman, with imperial abilities
I am a unique woman, the queen of my family
And heart of my home!

Strong Woman, Strong World"

Empowered Woman secure a brighter future for everyone!