Quote of The Day

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Sunday Scribblings " Flashback"


Sunday Scribblings a few weeks back was "Flashback"
I wrote this a while ago, for some reason couldn't post it. 

 Life was a bit raw back then

Photo taken in August 2010

I’ve had recurring dreams of my old life lately. A terrible flashback where one player is haunting my bed despite my disdain. When I awake I'm aware people can move forward, but we are accumulation of all our experiences. Unless you have memory loss of course. As much as you might like to dismiss the past, if you have children some ties will never be severed. Pain  will surface as they're pulled into the mire you once strolled through.

So as I  observe my child filled with adult angst, and agony  from my past choices I wade in guilt with my hands bound. Struggling to find words of comfort and grinding my teeth as I sleep.
I can only hope these ludicrous decisions  made by others affect her in a positive way. Opening her world to adventure instead of strife. I cling to the knowledge that my baby has a beautiful kind loving life mate to comfort her and give her the security she needs to feel safe.

As the time broaches for these big changes in her world to occur  I worry about her emotional state. Sadly a good  mother always feels her childs disappointments and pain right to the core!  
Unexpected Move

Words
March together
Like hostile Soldiers
Guns loaded
In a manic state
Ready to assault
stability
The news
A bugle call
To reality
Abandonment
issues
Stand at attention
Saluting grief
Unprotected
Ill-equipped
Stifled
As a hurricane
Looms
Gusts of angst
Yank her
Into the wind
 
Swirling  
With childhood debris
Absurdity
Anguish
Animosity
And disgust
Her soul hits
 The pavement
With a jolt
Bruised
She mourns
Possibility of
Atonement
The torrent
pounding
Bashes
The root
Of her love
Crushing any
Savored memories
Into dime sized
Nothingness
Etching
His rejection
Into her blood
Wiping clean
Her state of security


6 comments:

Sandee said...

We are always moms no matter how old our children are. I hope your lovely daughter finds her way.

Have a terrific day. :)

Joyce said...

Thank you for stopping by my tarot blog. I appreciate your comments.

Janet said...

Wow....what a powerful poem. As for Pepper, I'm sure she will find her way through whatever minefield she's treading. She has a wonderful and loving mom who has given her guidance in the past and shown her how to be an adult. From all we've learned about Pepper she seems to be a sensible, caring, intelligent woman. I'm sure she will be ok.

The Dreaming Bear said...

Thank you for your honesty and openness here. You are a mother for a lifetime...and you are so right...we feel their pain and disappointment....maybe even more than they do!!! Joan Rivers once said that a mother is only as happy as her saddest child, and boy is that ever true. Sending you wishes for peaceful rest and calm. You're a great mom!

Lucy said...

sweet dreams sweet sher xoxo
beautiful poem
you're the best momma

Nita Jo said...

Beautiful, touching post! Your daughter is lucky to have such a caring mom!

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