Sunday scribblings this week is " In a thousand Years"She's turning fifty. Not in a thousand
years would I have imagined she hates surprises. But she does, and her hubby has been warned....." No surprises!"
Hard to believe the woman who bakes every friend and neighbor a surprise birthday cake, shows up at each event with some unique idea or gift that makes life more fun doesn't want a fuss made for her birthday!
She's not alone. Dear daughter and Oprah don’t like surprises either. It makes them nervous with worry.
Yet I often surprised dear daughter when she was young. A special outing or event, a new outfit or toy, a favorite food always brought a smile to her face! I prided myself on filling her life with joy! It was my pleasure. It's hard to forget the squeals of glee when dear daughter discovered a trampoline in the backyard ! I can still see her little eight year old body bobbing up and down in utter bliss.Ugly divorce with hostile surprises, distressing birthdays coupled with disappointing announcements put her in a terrible funk. Substandard Christmases, excluded from kid friendly family events, a Disneyland holiday, and extra curricular activities is the catalyst to her aversion to surprises. Vinegar on the wound, knowing step siblings enjoyed all these financial perks while she was left out!
I was emotionally jerked around by surprises last week. Crying one moment over a personal family issue, out of my realm of understanding or control. Meeting with a friend was a lovely diversion, finding a few bottles of my favorite discontinued perfume somehow elated me, lifting the gloom. As though out of the dark an angel appeared to divert my distress. When I fell back into worry I click on an email to find a welcome humorous diversion evoking a laugh out loud! Not sure I like surprises myself, however I accept them as a part of life!
As an adult dear daughter has been shook up numerous times by worrisome erratic situations. There is always no resolve and nothing seems to balance out these unexpected emotional bombs dropped on her! It has made her very uncomfortable with unpredictable behavior. I’m sure many children of divorce, ones with unpredictable alcoholic or mentally ill parents also hate to be surprised.
Personally I’d never want someone to surprise me by redecorating my environment without my input, or show up unannounced to stay for a holiday. It's nasty being surprised by a large unexpected bill in the mail too. I’d not want a celebrity to knock on my door with cameras either. I have to admit, thoughtful well intended, noninvasive sweet surprises make me happy! I really appreciate them, pretty sure dear daughter does too. How about you??? What is your best surprise and do you like them?
5 comments:
I'm not big on surprises either. Although maybe a huge surprise celebration when I hit some memorable birthday (70 or 80 or 90)might be fun....as long as the surprise didn't trigger a heart attack!!
I liked this. Not certain how I am on surprises. I like it when they are good and hate it when they are bad. Most surprises are bad aren't they. We surprised my BIL with a surprise 50th and we all seemed to enjoy it and I think he did too!
I like to be the suprisor instead of the suprisee....or is it the other way around? Sigh......
This was a fabulous post. Surprises really can go either way can't they?
The first thing that came to my mind was being sent to the office of someone to make a delivery when I was just twenty, then being told that I was really sent there to see his wonderful collection of art. My boss knew I was an art student, knew about the collection and arranged for me to have the tour. It was one of the kindest surprises ever. I have never forgotten. The worst was my seventeenth birthday - a boy in a box. We rode around town in his VW Beetle, mostly through the McDonalds parking lot where he asked me to duck because he was trying to see who was with his girlfriend. Surprises are just that - surprising.
I like your post on the thousand years. It's so interesting how everyone's turns out so differently isn't it? Anyway, found you through SS and I love this post. :)
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