Quote of The Day

Friday, March 04, 2011

Sunday Scribbling "Always a Never"


A doodle done in an art journal Feb 8th
Sunday Scribbling prompt this week is "Raw"


 My daughter's in crisis, there is nothing I can do, she is raw! Her father is moving to another country. She feels at a complete loss. Knowing she may not see him for a long time, if ever. Because divorce is complicated, and step parents can be very difficult to take.

Often a stoic girl she describes herself as an egg, with a fragile shell, completely soft inside. There has been little regard for her feelings during the process of him moving away. As much as the man doesn't fit the criteria to be my friend, I want him safe and sound for my daughter. So I pray for his safety and happiness. Even though almost everything he does irks me to the core!
I wished he'd been a more of  hands on dad. But he had no example and didn't know how. He is a sad man who's missed out on a genuinely amazing child. Sidney Poitier says, " The measure of a man is how he provides for his children" There is not much more I can say. Except I am so sad for my daughter, and my deceased mother who also went through the same. I am so sorry for the ugliness in her life that was no fault of her own. There is no way to rectify any of this....it's just plain awful.

Always a never
A child of divorce
Continuously pounded
By what will never be
Nibbling at crumbs of
Family past
Grappling for resolve
Where there is none
Hanging by a string
Of need
Knowing it will
Swing back and forth
Until it breaks
Dropping them
Into a puddle of dismay
Muddied by mistakes
Not their own
Weighted
By a heavy brick
Of longing,
Misunderstanding,
and deceit
Waiting for atonement
That will never come
Satisfaction that can never be
They stand alone
In a mire of pain
With no comfort
Desperate to move
Forward
Whole!

11 comments:

Lucy said...

my heart breaks for Pepper and for you who holds EVErY heart ache your child feels. Your poem has chilled me. it speaks volumes for a child of divorce as well as anyone whose childhood left much to be desired.
Haven't read my fav. blogs in too long, strange how I popped in tonight,maybe a 6th sense that my friend was feeling helpless and frustrated. So sorry this is happening to Pepper Giggles. Her egg comparison brought tears to my eyes.
hang in there and please give her an extra hug from me xoxoxo

Janet said...

Powerful poem! It's never easy watching our children suffer. I hope Pepper can find some peace with all this.

JTS said...

I, like most of the parents I know, have watched our children go thru the anguish of divorcing parents, hugging, hoping and praying that they can hang on and somehow come out on the other side without too many permanant scars. You wrote about this with great intensity, well befitting of the topic!

rel said...

Giggles,
I'm the grandfather to two young girls 15 and 10 of divorced parents and have seen the anguish you describe here. Their parents do live in the same city and they spend time with both weekly but still it's a crappy way to grow up.
I tell them that my dad was a imperfect parent and everyone made excuses for him because of his traumatic childhood, but I said I'm going to learn from his example and be the dad he wouldn't be no excuses!
(((hugs old friend))
rel

Mary said...

How very sad. I'm sorry for both your daughter and you.

Lisa said...

Thanks for sharing. What a difficult situation for your daughter. All you can really do is be there for her.

oldegg said...

The important thing here is to give her hope. She must hope to see him again and not to lose touch. Encourage her to write or even ring him to ensure both still have contact. I do hope he agrees.

jaerose said...

I hope that your words help her see that you truly understand..I wish you all luck..Jae

Leo said...

keep supporting her, and she'll blossom well Giggles.. sad for her, for she'll miss his presence perhaps.. agree with Old Egg here, maybe she can find solace in words.. :)

Leo @ I Rhyme Without Reason

Forgetfulone said...

I recognize these feelings in my chldren, but I could never have put it into words like you did.

My ex moved out of state last summer, so instead of seeing their dad every other weekend, they will see him about twice a year. I know they miss him, and they have so many more years to deal with this.

I agree with Poitier's words. I used to think my ex was such a good dad, but things have changed. His kids are not his priority anymore. He also has a young child with his current wife, but he is out of town almost all the time, so while they live out of state, he's never even at home anymore.

Sorry to vent to you, but this hit a raw nerve. It's so "close to home." My heart goes out to you and Pepper.

Linda Jacobs said...

Wow, I really like your poem and post. Your daughter is so lucky to have you! I hope she puts things in persepctive and is able to move past this!

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