Quote of The Day

Thursday, November 07, 2013

Confrontation Paint party friday

This is my contribution for Paint Party Friday and Creative everyday!
In our home we share stories of our daily encounters, whether it be on the net or otherwise. I was quite amazed at how Cupcake handled an abusive unhappy customer. He tried to deceive  her, but my savvy daughter had his information on file and politely set him straight. He tried to dominate the conversation in an irate manner! So she politely interrupted him by  saying he needed to calm down so she could help him. She was firm but kind. It was interesting how she handled this abusive male! He quickly changed his attitude making excuses for his behavior!



When I was young it wouldn't have occurred to me to tell someone they needed to calm down. I used charm  as the queen of appeasement...killing them with kindness was my style. It's how I coped with a grumpy often disagreeable  husband  and  critical mother who never seemed satisfied!   My daughters refusal to continue an encounter with someone abusive is so impressive to me! I learn something everyday!!


After  the man calmed downed, as she commanded, Cupcake helped him to his satisfaction. Not only did the man leave happy, he expressed that no one had ever treated him that nice before.  Cupcake said the man was almost in tears. So it was a win win situation.

I have been known over the years to have terrible boundaries. Probably a result from being a child of an alcoholic. I had never considered telling someone they needed to calm down, instead I learned different coping skills. If I was passionate about something I'd argue it out, If a person was out of control I'd appease them, and if all else failed or I was hurt I'd shut up and shut down!! It all depended on the confrontation. 

How do you deal with confrontation? Do you take control? Set a boundary? Or retreat?

Today that man came by with a card for Cupcake, as an apology for his bad behavior! My post was written before I knew about the card!  I hope next time a person gets irate in my midst I'm able to ask  them  to  calm down. My mistake would be saying PLEASE calm down!!

45 comments:

minnemie said...

Bravo, Cupcake! I retreat... shut down... apologize...hide... you get the idea. I need lesson from Cupcake!

froebelsternchen Susi said...

I have my first cup of coffee now.. and I adore your cups ... Happy PPF!
good morning!

Ginny said...

Cupcake taught me a lesson too. I probably would have tried to appease the man rather than to tell him to calm down.

I love your header! It really caught my eye tonight.

Abigail Davidson said...

It's cool to see your art in different colors! Happy PPF!

Lynn Cohen said...

Sweet cups and hearts!!!
Not a lover of confrontation either, I admire your daughters tactics ... I certainly am not going to stick around to take on another's tirade!

Valerie-Jael said...

Great post and wise words! Valerie

Karla B said...

Lovely cups full of love and beauty. Happy PPF and greetings from Brazil!

NatashaMay said...

That's a nice story with a happy ending. I'm afraid when someone asks me to calm down when I'm pissed off I get even more angry. :) Then again I don't get angry very often and very rarely confront a total stranger.

annkrier said...

Cupcake is very fortunate. That "calm down so I can help you thing" can sometimes back fire - especially with the male adversaries ! Beautiful tea cups - happy and cheerful - a great way to celebrate !

denthe said...

Often the best way to deal with angry people is just staying friendly but indeed set boundaries. Just like you daughter did! I'm not always good in that, although I've become better over the years. I find it easier to set boundaries with strangers. With family and friends I'll rather shut up and shut down ...

Victoria said...

Wonderful post..I love all these various versions of cups..they are so fantastic and colorful...awesome..such eye candy..these are great designs by the way too..I would love a mug like that! Yay for cupcake..shine on! Well done! I have been in similar situations and yes diffusing the situation and setting boundaries is wonderful and cab be a really successful experience! sometimes others don't respond to it well ..and when they do,like this man...it is great! Great story!
Wishing you a fantastic day..and creative week ahead!
Victoria

Pia Rom said...

Hah what a wonderful post and story...I always be to shy to set boundaries...I have to learn that for sure ;) Love your painting too ♥ Conny
Piaroms Art Journaling

kat said...

Oh your cup looks so warm and comforting, I love the warm red colors of this one. Cupcake did great, it's not easy and can be tricky dealing with confrontations and difficult folk, always good to keep calm and cool.
Thanks for sharing all your little stories with us,
hugs
Kat

Carol said...

Love all of the cups and colors!!!!
When you deal with people at work it's a whole new ball game sometimes you feel like you have to be a therapist in order to figure out what will make them happy. Seems your daughter has gotten a good handle on it :)

Debbie said...

Oh, I love this cup. All of the different color variations are really nice. That pattern on it really adds a lot! Your daughter is very impressive. I'm impressed with how your daughter handled this situation. I don't know if I would do the same, but I am going to remember this.

SLScheibe said...

A great lesson from Cupcake! And a gorgeous cup of coffee artwork. Love the brightness and the way you make so many different colored pieces. Always fun and bright :)

Christine said...

your daughter certainly is good at customer service, how ingenious, and a wonderful story. Thanks for sharing. Nice art today too!

MeOfCourse said...

Your cups are inviting me to pour another cup of coffee. Awesome as was your daughter. Have a wonderful weekend.

sheila 77 said...

I enjoyed reading this. I suppose everyone reacts differently and I am so glad of the positive outcome for Cupcake. Your teacup is just so sweet in all its colours, a very nice harlequin teaset.

Wilme said...

I'm also a daughter of an alcoholic so I retreat quickly away from conflict. But slowly, one day at a time I'm learning about healthy boundaries. Thanks for sharing so deeply :)

Anne Manda said...

Great story, your daughter is just awesome! lovely cups, love the colors!

Linda said...

sounds like Cupcake handled it perfectly-great customer service and communication. Love your three of hearts cups-I always love vibrant color! I guess I tend to handle confrontation in a variety of ways depending on the person and circumstance.

Tammie Lee said...

that is a wonderful story.
i sense that part of why he calmed down was because she said so that she could help him. very wise words indeed.

your cups are so charming.

Nicole Beadwright Campanella said...

Cups of love. Very nice. I too like the different colors.
Good for Cupcake too.
Nicole/Beadwright

sharon said...

Love the cup and all the colour vazriations, Cupcake did wonderful, I tend to shut down in such situations, although sometimes I surprise myself and do what Cupcake did. Have a wonderful week.

Dianne said...

I must admit, I avoid confrontation at all costs...and use the 'give the customer what they want when at all possible' technique in most cases. It's great to know that the girls and women of today are more confident and are learning to deal with men who are out of line! Love your colorful art work as always...happy PPF!

ANNE said...

Awesome story! I've been dealing with the public for decades and use different techniques with different folks... nowadays I can usually tell precisely how to handle anyone by the way they approach. Doesn't work quite the same with loved ones though, does it? You would have to be able to remain detached and that is so hard with family members...

Ritu Dua said...

Absolutely luvvvvly :) the bright happy colors make my heart go crazy !! The post is quite interesting too :)

www.dorissdaughter.com said...

Wonderful post. I tend to tackle confrontation in a similar way as you, maybe for the same reason?(an alcoholic and aggressive step father)I do admire the way cupcake handled the situation staying in control without becoming emotional. It shows strength of character :-)

bellefrogworks said...

Your daughter has a healthy set of boundaries. I'm not always consistent but if pushed I will challenge (in a kind and polite manner I hope) someone who is behaving badly. Needless to say that is easier to do with strangers than with family members. Love that sweet cup (of coffee?) running throughout the post. By the way - my mom was brought up by a critical woman and an alcoholic man and she was a great appeaser for most of her life. Goes with that territory but we can always learn new ways of behaving thank God.

Ilona Heimböckel said...

Minnemie answered it for me, though if it is about something that means a lot to me, I can stand the ground. But I hate conflict.
Great to know grown up people are able to handle things differently, I applaud your daughter :-)
Have a wonderful weekend
Ilona :-) and hugs

Paper rainbow said...

well done cupcake, she dealt with the situation perfectly!

Jez said...

Sweet cups and hearts in every colour, and a thoughtful post as always. I can never understand abusive or unpleasant behaviour and avoid conflict as a matter of course - 'A soft answer turneth away wrath'. So I respond as pleasantly as I can, but do shut up and shut down. I admire people who can defuse a situation as Cupcake did, but we must follow our natures - and there's nothing wrong with a please. How nice that she was able to let him recognise his behaviour and even thank her with a card.

Ariel said...

Your cups are lovely.I wish I'd Cupcake's way of being polite but firm in dealing with people.I'm trying to learn how not to please everyone around me now.
Have a wonderful week.
Susan

Tammie Dickerson said...

Lovely painted cups! What a wonderful way to handle a disagreeable person - bravo!

Nat S said...

love love love
your cups of love :)

Palma said...

Such vibrant and fun paintings!

Kim Dellow said...

Wonderful paintings and well done to Cupcake, confrontations are the worse! Kim

Arnoldo L. Romero, MLA said...

I've always encouraged my daughters to be assertive too. Your tea cups seem very appropriate for the theme of helping people calm down. Blessings!

Kirstin McCulloch said...

I find confrontation so difficult. Sometimes when it is happening I feel like I am in a dream, frozen.

But dealing with confrontation is such an important skill. It appears your cupcake has 'it'!

Have a great week x

LonettA said...

Wonderful cups with this different colors!! I love it!

Lorraine said...

well done cupcake and well done giggles for this thoughtful honest post. great drawings too

Viola said...

A beautiful painted cup! and a wise daughter you have! :)

How would react.. hm..
sure I would be a little careful writing in public about this, that's me..
but I can say it depends on who I'm in confront with.. I think.. do I know them as friends or are they unknown.. sort of..
huh.. this was too difficult to me I think, to answer, hehe..
but I love to read about you :)
You are though! :)

Lisa Isabella Russo said...

Wonderful cups! Good for your daughter for handling the situation so well.

Ayala Art said...

What a great story! Ad the coffee cups are adorable! So much color
I guess for me, it depends of who the person is, and where we are, or the situation, but I am a peace maker :oP

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