Quote of The Day

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Guilt Monster, Paint Party Friday

Greenadine
Guilt is a ugly monster that can alter the quality of your life! There are things I don't want to do, things I feel obligated to, and things I worry about doing. Guilt really is a useless waste of energy. 

When my mother was in Palliative care many many moons ago my life came to a halt so I could visit very long days.
 
Bowman

Some of the family was in denial, not (me). I adjusted my  life drastically from living on adrenalin in order to accomplish super  mom woman status to best most supportive daughter ever!
After three months of daily hospital visits, very long hours at a time, the family waited in a room to speak to the doctor. 
Original Boman
Always a strong woman, mom had declined any more physio therapy knowing she was at the end. She no longer wanted to suffer the pain of walking around when she felt like crap.
Mandarin Orange Monday
All but her sister supported her wishes. My aunt somehow figured if she would walk she would recover. 
Narfie
There was so much guilt in that room. Guilt because we'd not made enough time for mom in the last few years. I worked full time and had a young child. My life was as busy as  moms   had been. 

Carver Original
When I wasn't working I was cooking, cleaning and doing 
everything  to be the super woman she raised me to be. 

 Five years younger my sibling felt even worse. Working as much overtime as he could  while taking care of a home and religiously working out. With  partying and having a little lady fun like many young men do  he had no time for mom either.
In that moment we knew we were living the way we were taught. We had the exact same time for mom as she had always had for us.  Not enough.

 Thankfully both my brother and I have rectified that with our own children. 
It's paid off, and we both have very close intimate relationships with our children and their partners. Relationships we have honed from infancy.
I know that guilt is a energy draining waste of time and useless emotion. It eats up creative space in your mind!  I have yet to find a woman who doesn't feel buried by it! I still fall prey to it myself!  Guilt is a monster we should all release...
 What would you replace your guilt with?
Original Greenadine
What guilt are you needlessly carrying around that you can do nothing about anyway?

46 comments:

Nicole Beadwright Campanella said...

As usual a wonderful post with the best art to accompany it. The guilt I have is that I couldn't do more for my brother when I was caring for him during hospice. There are things I wish I did differently. Nope can't do anything about it now but when I pass over to go play with him and my sister I will get it all worked out.
Nicole/Beadwright

Christine said...

Nice art to go with your talk about guilt. A very human emotion it is.

Christine said...

Nice art to go with your talk about guilt, a very human emotion.

Patsy Paterno said...

When my mom was sick, and then in the hospital, I did try to be the best daughter I could be. But after she died, I still felt there was so much more I could have done for her. And I do feel guilt sometimes. :^( Still. Awesome monsters! patsy

froebelsternchen Susi said...

Great art going along with your thoughts this week again!
No I don't feel quilt, maybe I am an egoist.....♥♥♥

Marji said...

Lovely work. Guilt can be such a heavy burden to carry.

Valerie-Jael said...

Beautiful art work! Happy PPF, hugs, Valerie

sheila 77 said...

Your monsters here are superb art and seriously bad monsters, what fabulous illustrations of Guilt.
Great post, Sherrie.

BLOGitse said...

Great art again!
These monsters are nice but guilt is not.
I don't feel guilt. I've done mistakes, we all do, but I don't waste my life worrying, guilt etc.
I TRY to think with my brains, not with my feelings...

my blog - > BLOGitse

Netty said...

Love the guilt monster and all the other paintings they are great fun.
You can't go through life without feeling guilty about something or other, but like everything we have to move on. Happy PPF, Annette x

http://nettysartadventures.blogspot.co.uk/

Fuzzie Fingers said...

A great post and a great little guilt monster.

My name is Erika. said...

Super cute monsters.And good point about the guilt. It doesn't do anyone any good, does it?

Karla B said...

Wonderful work, my friend!As for guilt, I try to live in a way that I won't be attacked by it.

Karla B said...

Wonderful work, my friend!As for guilt, I try to live in a way that I won't be attacked by it.

Irene Rafael said...

I do not feel guilt over the care of my mother after she had Aalzheimer's but I do feel sad that she had the disease. Like you, I feel I was a loving, attentive daughter and know that I did my best for her during that time. I appreciate your honest and forthwright post today and always. And of course, your exuberant colors, Giggles. Thanks also for the heads up on my post.

Irene Rafael said...

I do not feel guilt over the care of my mother after she had Aalzheimer's but I do feel sad that she had the disease. Like you, I feel I was a loving, attentive daughter and know that I did my best for her during that time. I appreciate your honest and forthwright post today and always. And of course, your exuberant colors, Giggles. Thanks also for the heads up on my post.

Linda Kunsman said...

fabulous art along with another fabulous post!! Guilt sure can weigh one down , waste precious time, and cause unneeded angst. I've wasted too much time on guilt over the years but make an effort to clear it away now when it pops up. You're an amazing woman and artist. Thank you for sharing.

Carol said...

Great art once again and they go so well with the words you have chosen. Guilt is a heavy burden for many of us... I work daily on letting mine go.

Janet said...

You are so good at matching your art with what you're writing about. I love that about your art.

Sorry I haven't been around much. But you know I'll always get here when I can.

Janet said...

You always have art that matches what you're writing about. I love that about your posts...sorry I haven't been around much lately but you know I'll always stop by when I can.

loveofcollage said...

guilt now that is a tricky emotion...I prefer to forget about emotions like this as they are a waste of energy..trying and think positive..love the art

~Rasz~ said...

Wow Giggles! What a great post! Your words and pictures are so powerful and thought provoking. I have been trying to rid myself of a suitcase full of guilt that I have been dragging around and filling up for years. Everything from not being my dad's side when he passed away (I was 15 years old) to now not being able to work any longer for health issues I wonder if I could have prevented somehow if I had done something differently.

Funny, writing this out to your comment board has gotten me thinking of all the stuff I really am dragging around that needs to be let go of.

Thank you for this post. If I read nothing but your post today, it would have been enough since you showed me so much about myself. Thank you again and big hugs out to you! Rasz #56

Faye said...

Guilt destroys but a little guilt can set one on the right track to redeeming relationships. I wish I had spent more time with my mother. She really, really didn't have much time to spend with the kids. Her mother, grandmother and little brother all got killed in a car wreck and she was left to care for not only her husband and her 3 kids but also for her father and her younger sister. She didn't have an automatic clothes washer or even a good vacuum cleaner. She gardened and canned all the food, made all the girls' clothes, helped out at the family grist mill, etc. etc. My own kids preferred I not get too involved in their activities, although we went to every sports/band event and many practices. They, like I, valued their privacy. Some people are wired different.

Beth Niquette said...

My dear. You are so wise. The way you have expressed yourself through painting is indeed awesome...Thank you for sharing your heart, dear lady.

Paper rainbow said...

Such words of wisdom, and very close to my heart having a mum who has been ill for many years. guilt can be consuming and draining... and often not easy to vanquish. You as always post such thought provoking thoughts.

Ariel said...

Your guilt monsters look awesome. Created so well for this post-:)
Have a great weekend
Susan

Tam Hess said...

I feel guilty that I don't feed my boys dinner. I am a terrible dinner cook. I make awesome breakfast but dinner is terrible. haha Working through some same issues with my FIL. Thanks for the thoughtful prompt and wonderful bright artwork.
Thanks for sharing! Happy Paint Party Friday :)
Tam Hess
cardmakingartists.com

Lynn Cohen said...

You sound like you did your fair share of caregiving. I think peoples lives don't necessarily revolve around eldercare anymore ... Well some cultures are better at it than others. We took my mom in at the end of her life because there weren't any decent care homes where we lived. So with in home hired help, as we were both working, we did it from five pm on and all weekend long. My guilt would be that I often felt resentful. I don't want my kids to feel intruded upon. Or resentful. One of my two children has already asked what our "plan B" is for when we are no longer able to care for ourselves ... They even suggested we look into "a nice retirement community for seniors" in the city they live in. I guess they'd find that convenient for occasional visits. Well, we aren't ready for any plan B's just yet, thank you very much. We did just make a living trust, so I don't have to feel guilty dying and leaving probate and possessions mess for them to deal with! No, I think I'm pretty much guilt free these days. How is it you always seem to provoke so much serious thought in your art blog posts? Cute colorful characters fill your pages too!

peggy gatto said...

You are a teacher, thank you!

Rita Juse-Cirkse said...

Thank you so much for sharing this very personal experience! Your question made me thinking... Guilt is most definitely something familiar to me.

lorik said...

I read every word and felt what you said. I also feel guilt.. I too am thinking about your question.
And then I went back and read again with the images. Thank you:)

kat said...

A great collection as always, thankfully I have no guilt for now...I am a worrier though and should let go on that.
Hugs
Kat xx

Laila said...

Lovely art and wise words. No, I no longer feel guilt. I've had my share of guilt, mind you, but no more. I had to have a real talk to myself and finding a way out of it, and I did. Now, I live every day in a way that I can look in the mirror and tell myself, it has been a good day in every way.

denthe said...

Love the eyes on Grenadine! I used to feel a lot of guilt, over all and everything. But the older I get, the more I realize it's useless, and it's better to just do things now so I won't have regrets later. Now I feel less guilt but more sadness, about things I didn't do, or things I didn't say. But I try not to dwell on it, and use it as a learning experience ...

Bronson Hill Arts said...

You ask with what I would replace the guilt: Sleep & dancing. I will have to try to remember that when it overwhelms me.

Thank you for a beautiful, heartfelt post with your always uplifting & colorful artwork!

-Barb

Renee Dowling said...

Once again, you have a powerful post to cause us to think about life. Your art is so creative and original and compliments your wisdom! Guilt and worry are such a destructive things. It can and has ruined so many lives.

I realized a quite a few years ago that I shouldn't feel guilty for making time in my life to do things I like and to let go of the guilt that my house is not always dusted, or the floors aren't mopped or the laundry may be piled up, or that I had school work to do.

I use my time for my family, and my art and photography, things people will remember. In the end, it won't matter if there is dust on my furniture, but it will matter that my children have positive memories of doing things with me!

Gloria said...

Loving your commentary and joyful art as always. I would give up my guilt for "marshmallows". Not because I love Marshmallows, but strangely enough that is the word that popped into my head when asked the question???

Tammie Dickerson said...

Your posts are always so thought provoking!! Really - you should be a therapist! I am a perfectionist from a long line of perfectionists, married to a perfectionist for 31 years. I guess my guilt would be whenever things fall short of my "perfect" measure - which they inevitably do! Always optimistic, I just keep trying for perfection in everything :) I know, it makes me tired just thinking of it, too!

pauline said...

Giggles!! Such wonderful little monsters here... and as always, thought provoking writing. Sounds like you were a good caregiver - one of the hardest things in the world, especially when caring for someone you love and you know there's little one can do to ease the suffering.
As for guilt - I feel very little guilt, for anything. Not because i'm perfect. I've made bad decisions, but they seemed like GOOD decisions at the time. So no need for guilt, especially when it's in the past. When we know better, we do better. ;-) xx

Nat S said...

what a nise idea to try colors on the same drawing, they change the mood, becomes so different,
thank you for sharing
Natalie

Sirkka said...

Again you wake up our thoughts with your story and art. Nice new week and PPF, Giggles!

Carola Bartz said...

I completely agree - guilt is a real waste of energy. But it is sneaky and always finds a spot to settle in.

lorik said...

I am back to thank you for sharing your little, orange being with Mandarin Orange Monday:)

JKW said...

Wow, what a post. Love the colorful Monster. It's that time of year when they all come out to haunt us, just as your post does. Blessings, Janet PPF

judie said...

Awesome story about guilt and wonderful art as a backup to the words and thoughts. I think you and your siblings/family lived as your mom taught you to live, and even her mom before that, and she surely understood this. Great lesson here.

My name is Erika. said...

Oh yes, grew up with one of those control freaks called my mother. Kind of sad actually. The damage done by a Mom can take your whole life to get over. Great art this week. You make such fun pieces.

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