My Butt Ugly Cake!

I'll let you know!

 So here we are on our girls gone wild Monday night….you know, wine and dinner! No booby exposure, nothing too crazy, however, I made a butt ugly cake for Janice’s Birthday. It certainly wasn’t my intention! I had this beautiful vision of strawberries and kiwis embedded on an iced cake, sprinkled with toasted nuts, and drizzled with my favorite purdys chocolate! But when I took the cakes out of the pans, one square, one heart shaped. A few stubborn chunks decided they weren’t ready to detach. So I glued the cakes together with icing….then proceeded to place the strawberries neatly on the cake, patterning a flower to crown it! Of course in the heat of the day they kept slipping out of place. So I added a few kiwi pieces to fill in the gaps. Then I sprinkled toasted pecans over the cake. Oops it was too late! The cake now looked like a dirt pile or kitty litter! Needless to say what the drizzled chocolate looked like!!! Yes you are correct….let your mind wander…This is what I ended up with a cake so ugly even Laura, as hard as she tried, couldn’t conceal her surprise! Here’s the thing, Laura is the Queen of cake making. She will make thee most beautiful cakes with flowers, artistic colored icing, neatly placed fruits and nuts. Chris also makes some pretty brilliant cakes, scrumptious inventive recipes wonderfully decorated too.

I warned Laura in a phone call about the cakes aesthetic appeal. She reprimanded me for being too hard on myself! I assured her it was truthfully an ugly cake, in fact it may be the ugliest cake I have ever seen or made in my lifetime! When I was a teen I made a cake for a boys birthday, the first two didn’t turn out, so I sprawled out on the floor and watched inside the oven until it was finished baking! It turned out wonderfully. I never ended up with the guy! He married another girl, had three kids. Years later he ended up buying a house we had for sale. Small world! Back to the cake…UGLY I tell ya…. I have proof…here is the picture of Eddie the owner of the Chili Pepper house Restaurants! While we were all scrunched together trying to master a picture on our own, a lady from an adjacent table offered to snap it for us! Standing on a chair none the less! Which is always more flattering! We thanked her with a piece of butt ugly cake!!! The lady and her dinner partner raved about the cake. Said they’d paid exorbitant money from specialty shops for cakes that weren't near as tasty. She wanted my number, and insisted I bake them a triple size cake exactly the same for next Tuesday. Cost being no issue! Go figure….A bit of a metaphor, don’t judge a cake by it’s butt ugliness!!! Thank goodness for twilight! She was serious, and gave me her card!