So after droning on for one long page I decided to write a poem instead. Even though I have been sharing many of the seasonal highs lately, there is so much, as you well know, goes on behind the scenes. Sometimes I need a few days to separate myself from emotional upheaval so I can be more objective.
Relinquishing Hope
It’s not always what it appears
The beauty of the lights
Bring memories of stolen strands
Dad felt were rightfully his
The Christmas trade off
Turns into the Cinderella nightmare
Without the catered Ball, or the prince
To rescue her from the bad memories
It’s the day that hope turns into angst
Of past disappointments
him not really knowing who she is
Or what she needs
Christmas is not always pretty
Like the glitz of the garland
Instead it’s a false promise
A ruthless eternal lie
Every year she anticipates
That childhood Christmas
Every year she unwraps
A broken heart
Still she believes in the kids
Charity, generosity, love
The music, the baking
The decorations, her mom
One year her giving heart exploded
Finding perfect Gifts for everyone
Excited to watch them opened
She waited, but no one came to get her
Is like having a root canal
Without the freezing
Hours go by and still nothing but pain
Nothing can explain the relationship
Nothing authentic anyway
Invisible ink brushes the page with
“I hate how you continue to hurt me”
“When will you finally understand me?”
“Why can’t you defend my rights?”
“Why do I always feel like less
When I’m with you?”
Written over it in blue ink
“I wish you happiness and laughter”
“Hope all your dreams come true”
“I love you, your daughter”
Picks up the pen
with invisible ink!
“Oh yeah,
and thanks for the sperm!”
6 comments:
Despite all that, Christmas and other holidays are about sharing with the ones you love. I hope you and Pepper and your family have a blessed and joyous weekend.
THat was profound and I felt it from the very bottom of your heart and soul. I have been catching up on everyone's blog s today and I feel all the different emotions coming from each one. it is amazing!
Sherry, a very profound poem. Wow! Sending much love and hugs to you. And thank you for your lovely email; will catch up with you soon. I'm competing for computer time with three others at the moment. Merry Christmas to you and yours, my friend. Hope 2008 is your best year yet. xoxox
Sherrie, when I first started reading this I didn't realize it was about Peppers dad, but I knew your dad was wonderful. So sorry for her disappointments. Thank god for her wonderful mamma. Wishing you and Pepper a magical Christmas, where her dreams do come true. xoxo
Came to Wish You a Very Merry Blessed Christmas and a Very Happy Blessed New Year to You and Yours!!! Look's like you and you dd need some {{{HUGS}}} too by what I read in the poem!!!
The worlds behind the eyes, behind the scenes. Aren't there so many layers of memories and plays...
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