Quote of The Day

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Paint Party Friday Bride syndrome

Illustration Friday  she's out in the "Wild"


Be wary of the "hiker who doesn't hike"....someone who pretends to be something they're not. I have coined that phrase, used it for years, I own that metaphor, lol.  It`s a person who is not exactly authentic, and  deceives you by feigning a common interest to impress you!   They sport brand new hiking boots, while huffing and puffing up the mountain! .... Not that I would know! I've never been a hiker  nor have I ever professed to be!! However, I`m sure I tried to impress a boy or two by doing something out of my element....oh yeah, I  baked three cakes for his birthday, see here!!  an interesting read!

 Or the "smoker who doesn't smoke"...  a closet smoker  who knows you abhor  smoking. A dear friend had two boyfriends like that!! She had no clue they smoked, until one started having ass ashtray breath. She refused to kiss him, it ended soon after!

 "Twenty years later I've coined the way I fooled myself in youth, "bride syndrome." The fantasy many young girls have about life, love and babies!! We imagine the perfect day, beautiful dress,  music, dancing, and great food. I  was not immune!!  When in fact the bride is usually dead tired from all the planning, has her period, or comes down with the flu. The brides mother, or future mother in-law, has some kind of beef about something the bride did or didn't do!  Everyone  complains about either the food, the music or the  venue! To top it  off, uncle Joe gets too drunk and makes a total ass of himself spilling all the family secrets!! It's bitter reality and happens WAY too often!!



 Cupcake can attest to it, having worked in the wedding industry for five years. She saw everything from a grooms hankie pankie  with a bridesmaid from another bridal party in different room! To the wedding party in such a brawl the cops were called! These were very costly weddings too!! Enough for a down payment on housing kind of indulgence!!  I know many weddings turn out beautifully,  but still it can be a very expensive gamble, and often an extremely exhausting day for the bride! Sometimes a simplified wedding is better!

We`ve  all had  a fantasy at one time or another! I spent nine months talking about how I was going to raise my daughter. The moment she arrived that was tossed out the window. Instead I used my god given common sense to nurture her to adulthood!! Nothing of how I supposed it might be! Guess what, she`s been raised without Bride Syndrome.  I'm a blunt realist. It may sound cold but I think it's less disappointing to face life the way it is rather than how we fantasize  it! So far it's worked for my daughter.

Having dreams is completely different than having fantasies!! Dreams are imperative for success!  Babies and  puppies are so gosh darn adorable to lure us into  the mounds of work and self sacrifice they take in rearing !! It's nothing of how we imagine it will be. It's no sleep, lots of worry and years of putting yourself on the back burner. I'm a realist who loves to dream, fantasies are not my thing... thankfully I shook off bride syndrome some years ago!
Have you betrayed yourself by being something you weren't in order to impress someone you thought you wanted? Did it work?

This is my contribution to Paint Party Friday this week!!

62 comments:

Jez said...

I love your Hilda the faking it Hiker painting and all the variations in colour. But no matter what colour she is, she's still a fake!
As always your post is "a good read" and something to think about. I've met some of those fakers, but strangely they were always the ones who got promotion. What a way to live.

Netty said...

thanks for a great read as usual Giggles, I love your would be hiker and the fab bride, such amazing colours. Happy PPF, Annette x

http://nettysartadventures.blogspot.co.uk/

Jess said...

When I was young I pretended to be interested in a boyfriend's obsession with model aeroplanes. Thank goodness I didn't need to keep that up!xx

Diana Evans said...

oh I love your new header!!! and these new pieces are wonderful....love seeing them in all the different colours and tones!!! well done!!!

Deanna said...

Great post and oh so true! I think most girls dream of what their wedding day will be like and typically it is nothing like reality. Love your little hiker too!

sharon said...

When I saw your fake hiker I had a fit of the giggles. I got someone like that in my life at the moment and she is faking it hard it is so obvious like your gal. Yeah I faked it when I was young and starry eyed. It failed. So I learned the lesson and faked never again.

Tracey Fletcher King said...

Beware the hiker is going to be adopted over here now, though i will ensure that you are credited!!! I have to say I am not one for doing the big impress though I am one for getting in and giving something a go ... which has lead to ridiculous situations like trying fishing, or watching football... or 10 pin bowling... or eating mackeral... all unmitigated disasters, but better than pretending I knew whether I liked them...
great posts...xx

denthe said...

That hiker is so funny and your bride lovely and sweet. I'm a bit different I guess in that I never saw the magic of a fairytale wedding. It just never appealed to me and I found it such a waste of money. I'd much rather spend it on travelling the world ... (which I did ☺). Luckily I found a hubby who thinks alike so we're happily living together without being married....

Ayala Art said...

I guess I am too lazy to fake, but I have omitted things if I thought it was going to cause trouble. I love peace!
Your hiker is adorable and every variation is like a match for the seasons. Cool!

peggy gatto said...

What fun I had viewing your wonderful creations!!!

www.dorissdaughter.com said...

Great post! and lovely art work
My mother always told me to "Be yourself, as everyone else is taken"

Valerie-Jael said...

Wonderful post from start to finish! Hugs, Valerie

Anne Manda said...

Great post and that devious hiker looks so cute! The fantasy bride is dreamy beautiful! It is much less complicated to just be one self...

JKW said...

I love your artwork. I am so impressed by your knowledge. . . life is an illusion, that's what I say, which is actually in keeping with your saying. I can still be fooled, because I guess I want to be . . . all those books grandpa read to me all those years ago, are still a part of me dang-it-all. Blessings and (((Hugs))) Janet PPF

Kooky said...

Oh this made me laugh out loud. Wonderful. I've faked a few things in my youth but then it got too hard to remember stuff... like where I put that paint brush!

Arnoldo L. Romero, MLA said...

I've always liked to march to the tune of my own drum, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. If someone can't accept me the way I am, I just smile and move on. I believe it's their problem, not mine, so I pray that God helps them. Blessings, my friend!

kat said...

Hello again! I love your girlie and her hiking boots! You'll be getting to know me more and more, big weddings and too much fuss...no not me, we got married after our two sons were born, a very small family wedding. I like small, easy and simple. I don't bend or change for others, that's for sure!
There is so much in the everyday to enjoy, loving the simplicity of life, that's my motto!

Sabina said...

Your faux hiker is adorable in all the color variations and your bride is elegant and beautiful. Live the look on her face and the purple tint in her hair is a nice touch.

Gloria in CA said...

I once had hiking boots. Loved those boots but never went hiking. Ooops I take that back, once and only once and I wasn't wearing my hiking boots to boot. tee hee. Love your drawings. Very colorful and so full of life, like you. Have a wonderful weekend. Happy PPF!

Marji said...

I'm liking your hiker concept. It is true that she exists. I do try to be authentic in who I am - I have strayed a few times when I was younger, but thankfully came back to center. Now, the older wiser me - is just me.

Gloria said...

I love your new top-piece, or at least new to me since I have been away for three weeks! It is gorgeous! As for todays post.. beautiful colors and oh so right about how we deceive ourselves but also how other people deceive us! Ah well, we have survived so far!???

Erika Nittel-Traser said...

Your Girl make me smile, what can a painting better do?! :)
In your post are another photo, which is not visible. I will be back later.
Happy PPF and hugs
Erika

Pia Rom said...

hehe, love to visit your blog, I am always amused about your little stories...and your sweet hiking girl is off the hook :) ♥ Conny
http://piaromsartjournaling.blogspot.de

Linda said...

I can always count on your posts and your art to make me smile-and make me pause and think a bit. I love your metaphor and the hiker girl! Happy PPF!

Faye said...

Thanks for the thought-provoking comments here on your post. I'm sure in 78 years I have done this a number of times, but always with guilt afterwards. As for the bridal thing, I was so proud of my daughter in law when she planned her and my son's wedding - both second marriages. She got her dress at Goodwill and made her corsage and headdress. Her daughter was her only attendant and she also had a Goodwill dress. They looked gorgeous and the whole thing cost less than $500 because they had it at home. Guests sat in chairs borrowed from my son's church. DIL did all the cooking for the reception.

Faye said...

Forgot to comment on the art itself. Sorry. Your cute smiling hiker brought smiles here. And the gorgeous portrait! Wow, please let us see some more of this style as well as the other.

aimee said...

this was one of your most entertaining yet!!

Christine said...

nice art this week and you always have such good advice! I think as we get older we can be ourselves more (hopefully).

Corrine at sparkledaysstudio.com said...

I suppose we all have at one time or another eh? The nice thing about being older is that it no longer matters and you aren't the hiker in the new boots nor do you care. Your posts are insightful and funny. Sweet painting. xox

Paper rainbow said...

Well done on raising your daughter the 'non bride syndrome' way, I have strived to do the same, although my daughters often brand me too much of a cynic, I like to think it is sensible realism, I love your posts, always something to thnk about. :)

Carolyn said...

What playful art you've got here! Love the hiker who doesn't hike - both the words and the smile on that face!

Victoria said...

Love your art..fantastical charge of colors..and wowness the bride is stunning and elegant and dreamy! What an enjoyable read..I have to smile, for I was no ordinary girl, I never ever had "bride syndrome" at all, and felt bad I didn't ha ha!how does one explain that! I wanted to be fully my own spirit , at a young age i always felt a free spirit.. but also have a deep respect for everyone's version of life and love ,and also never felt you had to frame love in certain way..married or not..whatever makes one happy is perfect. I felt true love was more powerful than a ring or paper..and transcended those ideas for me!I never married..but am happy..! people ask me why..I say..hmm.. I am from the future ha ha! powerful post! everyone should be who they are without hesitation..it is your unique gift while you are here on the planet!!
hugs and sparkles..
V

JoyCorcoran said...

My favorite pretender quote is "All hat and no cowboy," although I now have a new favorite hiker one. I've used faking it as a strategy to overcome fear, fake it til you make it sort of thing. But i have to be careful not be faking it for others and that I'm really hiking my own path (I never hike -- I mosey) Your painting of the bride is very deep and thoughtful and your hiker is just fabulous. Thanks for sharing your colorful wisdom.

pauline said...

omg, this cracked me up. The hiker who doesn't hike... the smoker who doesn't smoke. And that whole bit about brides... (btw, give your daughter my sympathy for having worked with brides for so long!! That would absolutely be a nightmare job for me). I never got the whole 'fairy tale wedding' thing. (i never married, by CHOICE, thank you very much). i just don't get it.
ok, on to the painting - your characters crack me up, girl! Yeah, we ALL know some hiker who doesn't hike. The one giving advice about how money isn't important, when they live in a fucking castle... or the catholic priest giving advice on marriage... (smirk)...
Wonderful work! I'm so glad our paths crossed. xox

pauline said...

ok, i just left you a long comment and i'm not sure it made it! Love your characters and your writing always cracks me up. YES - we all know at least ONE hiker who doesn't hike. ;-) Thanks for sharing your art and your writing with us. You always make me laugh at least once. xox

SAMARA said...

love this! powerfulllll. yes, my contribution. never learned a nursery rhyme and never sang or versed one to any of my 3 children. to this day, child no. 3 has not seen peter pan or the wizard of oz.... happy PPF lovies, samara

minnemie said...

I've always been a bit of a square peg in a round hole - "a little different" as one friend describes me. I used to try hard to "fit in" due to fear of loneliness. But have since found peace and joy and the real me in being different:-)

miz katie said...

I really enjoyed reading this. Great post, and artwork. :)

Jessica Sporn said...

I love that saying - beware of a hiker who doesn't hike. I will remember it. You are truly authentic my friend. And so is your art. Happy PPF!

Maria said...

very powerful words and meaningful. Truthful. Lovely work and very thought provoking. :)

Dianne said...

oh, I could tell you stories about my wedding, but in the end it went off ok and we're still married after 38 years. not a lot of money spent either. as for trying to be something I'm not--like a good housekeeper--forget it!

Adrienne Smith said...

Honestly, maybe ONE time. But after that, I have always been upfront and real with whoever I am around. I usually blurt out (at rather inappropriate times) things like: "You just need to know I'm an atheist, but I don't care if you believe in god, it's all good.", or "I SMOKE!", or "I really suck at being a housewife, and I suck at cleaning." <-- that was said to husband before he was husband. lol.

Our wedding was pretty amazing for costing us around $3,000, and $1,500 of that was for husband's round trip tix from s.Korea. (no he's not Korean... lol. He was stationed there at the time.) and it was outside, and we totally pot-lucked it! Hahah. it was amazing. :)

Elisa said...

your metaphor is so creative.. worth being in the dictionary:) It's difficult being someone else you're not and always it doesn't work. sooner or later the fake you will be found out. the real you will always want to break free. Great post and illustrations!

Nicole Beadwright Campanella said...

This is a great post. Also I really love your art. The hiker brings joy and smiles. Hoping that it makes others think about who they are.
Nicole/Beadwright

Zafaran said...

Oh! Oh! :-) Can't stop smiling!!! The fake hiker looks so funny...like she's chewed something horrible, can't spit it out, and has to keep smiling! Ha Ha Ha!!!
Lucky daughter to have you to ground her! She must be patience personified if she's working with brides!

Cat Beringer said...

love the artwork but it's the story that will stay with me. Totally with you one this one. And I'm totally using "the hiker that doesn't hike." It's a great companion to "If it needs to be said, it probably isn't true." (for example, "I don't play games." yeah... right...)

Along the lines of baking a cake, I made tortellini from scratch with a rolling pin. But that turned out to be the right move. :)

Ariel said...

Love the phrases you have coined. Once again a wonderful read. Thank you for sharing such great posts.

Introverted Art said...

I like your cute girl!!!

Rita said...

I hope I've never done this...I'm pretty sure I haven't...although sometimes calling myself an artist feels funny, I still get that feeling that I am fooling everyone into thinking I am a "real artist." And the bride thing cracks me up. Luckily I am a simple girl with simple tastes. I had a lovely wedding that was simple and inexpensive, I know my mother in law and sister in law probably scorned me for not being more Martha Stewart about it...funny thing is, my sister in law got married a month later, super fancy wedding, God knows how much it cost...and the marriage only lasted 2 years. I'm on year 14 and my centerpieces were rustic terra cotta pots filled with simple sunflowers! :)

Kirstin McCulloch said...

Giggles - You always have the most thought provoking posts + I love your unique, honest + inspiring views!
I have been a hiker that doesn't hike before, but I think it was more about not being sure who I was, and dressing for who I thought I should be. Now I am older (+some what wiser!) I dress for me + I am so much freer!
Kirstin

P.S. Thank you so much for your beautiful comments on my last two PPF posts - I am sorry I haven't responded personally, but your comments mean so very much to me! x

Dawn said...

I like the fake hiker and I love the red/orange version (very Autumnal) I always wanted a fairy-tail wedding but I blame Disney for that lol never got one though, no it was very basic that we paid for and we're still married.

I think some must get married for the day it's self. I pity the poor woman who married the man who was off with some brides-made from another wedding what a swine! Some people just don't take marriage seriously it just a big day out.

Love your bride & witty post Dxx

Dawn said...

Oh I forgot HPPF :) Dxx

Rhonda H said...

Lots of things to think about there! And fun colors!
Thanks for stopping by my blog for PPF too! I appreciate it!
I just joined your blog through Google+ too so I can keep up with your creative spark!

Lindsay said...

You gave me stuff to think about, thanks! Love the pencil (?) drawing you've made. :) Happy PPF!

Ilona Heimböckel said...

Love your hiker girl!
And your bride portrait has very much beauty!
I guess my dreaming never get into the realization process, meaning that I never had this big white wedding and time has passed for that dream ;-)

I think I'm not the kind of girl, who would be able to play that game convincingly hahaha!

Happy sunday!

Hugs from
Ilona

NatashaMay said...

Oh, I think we've all done it to some extent. But sometimes it's not even conscious. You just do the stuff to be close to somebody and then you realize either you like it too or not. I had my fantasy wedding planned out too until it came down to actually planning it. :)) Then I opted out for the easy way out and went to Seychelles to get married just the two of us without the family. Love your portraits! That bride is sweet. :)

janice smith said...

I never faked hiking (actually LOVED it!) but I confess I faked plenty of other things trying to fit in, feel a part of things...so glad that is way, way in the past! It was hard to know who I really was when all I did was play-act all the time. Your hiker who doesn't hike has a lot to learn but she sure is cute!

Lorraine said...

bride syndrome ha ha with the meringue dress..nah not for me we got hitched in Vegas!..great art and thoughts

shedreamsofthesea said...

great post and I love the art. I never had bride or baby syndrome, I always wanted to be free. But when I did get married it was a beautiful and simple wedding.

scarlett clay said...

I love the purple hair on the woman's portrait, it's awesome!

Carola Bartz said...

It never worked!!! And I eventually had the courage to be who I am. This is what I tell my daughter as well, and she is a confident, creative and smart teenager with big dreams, but no fantasies - well, she wants to be a scientist, I guess there is no room for fantasies! :-)

Forgetfulone said...

Giggles, haven't been here in a while. Love your header! And loved this post. I used to have bride syndrome. I think most young girls do. But... it's good to be over it. And how can you NOT tell someone is a smoker? As a former smoker, I can tell a mile away if someone has smoked. I do know a closet smoker, though. Two of them.

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