Paint Party Friday Grief

 Many people are grieving this holiday season. Whether it be  a long term marriage, an  illness,  or loss of a family member, it's always a difficult process. Usually rearing  it's ugly head at the oddest most inconvenient moments. 

Years ago  a wave of grief flooded over me at a bar, everyone was dancing.... it was dark and loud allowing my tears to run freely without much notice! Another time a wave of denial washed over  my mind, tricking me into thinking the person was still alive, away on a golf trip. The truth of my denial came whooshing in so strong. Twenty years later I still remember the red light I was sitting at when I was saturated with the reality of that grief. 

 It's the covert moments that can stump you too! Moments when  your true character is   replaced with bazaar behaviour.   Nobody knows whats going on. Not even you. Eventually the disturbing outburst are  realised to be grief again knocking at the door wearing a different hat!

These feelings are deep and dark whether you lose a friendship, family member, a marriage or a job there is a finally that can be hard to accept. I liken in to your computer crashing,  losing years of  data, writing, artwork and photos never to be retrieved or restructured again..... times one thousand!!  

 

Six  months or more after  mom died, we were out for brunch at a place that advertised raspberry pie.  I'm not a huge pie lover, unless of course it is top notch like mom made.  I am always leery of bad  pastry and never order pie when I'm out. The one time I wanted to order Raspberry pie it was sold out... So I sat quietly in my seat then  had a melt down over raspberry pie!! Not a good scene for a fat lady! On a normal day I could care less if that pie sold out....after rationalising my crazy outburst   I realised my mother was the only one who could make a good raspberry pie and many childhood memories were linked into that pie.  At the time I had no idea twenty years later my daughter would replicate that very same pie just as yummy!

I have fought through so much grief in my life, and from all the loss  suffered I know one thing for sure. There are better days ahead. They will never be the same, but many wonderful things are born of grief. Beautiful music, poetry and art. New relationships, new perspectives, new appreciations and  former events recreated! 

 As sad and lonely as grief can feel, I promise there will be better days ahead...different days, where you laugh more often, feel joy again, need less, see clearer, revel in new experiences,  cherish your memories and feel peace again!

So during this often frenetic season where time is of the essence, people are feeling impatient, overworked, overwhelmed and frustrated, I'm going to try and remember  that others may be carrying an even heavier burden and might need  to be treated with a little more kindness and love!

If you've ever dealt with grief what  did you find most comforting during the  holiday celebrations?

This is my contribution for Paint Party Friday and Art everyday month

Paint Party Friday Banana Bread

 This is my contribution to paint party friday and art everyday month!I have been     creative everyday although this is all I can share as I'm doing a project for a friend.

Monday I reminded Beardo  to take his co-worker Banana Bread since  his cousin was being laid to rest after a sudden motorcycle accident last week. Like mother, like daughter Cupcake reminded him too!  Us girls felt so sad for this young mans loss. 

 This year a few of Beardos close knit coworkers have had recent break ups, so we sent  goody bags to work with a banana bread for the boys. Someone is sick, they get a banana bread. It's our way of saying feel better soon, our heart is with you! We give it away as a "thank-you" or a "just thinking of you!"  I have been making this recipe for 35 years. Everyone loves it so much.  I 've made it as Christmas gifts when money was tight, I have taken it as house warming gifts. It was always raved about, requested and enjoyed!

The last few years I passed the torch and now Cupcake makes all the banana bread sometimes Beardo does too!!  It is revered just as much as mine was, always with rave reviews! The last year Cupcake has shared the recipe with an out of towner and a few people she doesn't see often!

  Her hairdresser made it with healthier alternatives. It didn't bode well.  Her husband   complained it wasn't as good as  Cupcakes! Another girl was disappointed that  hers didn't taste the same when she made it.  Beardos female Coworker also complained that hers just didn't taste the same as Cupcakes either! So he teased her that she was missing the secret ingredient !! She begged him to tell her what the secret ingredient was!! He strung her along, giggling that he just couldn't tell her. So she text-ed Cupcake for the secret ingredient!! Cupcake, totally perplexed, asked her what she was talking about.... The woman persisted, begging to know the secret ingredient!! There were no missing ingredients when Cupcake gave her the recipe!! However there is something we always do. We make it with very ripe bananas, and love!! I'm posting the recipe for you to try, but don't forget the secret ingredient, LOVE!!

 I saw a cute gift idea where an artist painted a small canvas then added a favourite recipe. Do you have a favorite recipe you make that you share or don't share with others?

The Joy of Color Paint Party Friday

 A digital Color edit from an acrylic in progress

I've been working on intuitive painting  in attempt to find my own  true style.

An experiment in playing with colors and layers for Art Everyday Month. 

 Also working on things I can't show yet. 

So this is my contribution for Paint Party Friday!

I would love to take one of those Flora Bowley classes but

 it's not in my budget. So I'll wing it until I get where I want!

Original acrylic wip Fouth Layer

A long while back a friend posted a question on  facebook, "what gives you the greatest joy? I answered with the basics, "kid, friends, art and music"

...but really it's so much more! My home is a wonderful source of joy for me.

 Something about color that feeds my soul and I don't know why! 

Sometimes when I click  on my blog or other colorful blogs 

I feel elated by the color, and it makes my heart swell with so much joy!! 

  People often tell me my  living room is so "Happy" a word 

that gives me immense pleasure! Read ahead

 the draft that has long awaited being posted!

I'm working in Layers this was the first !

 Digital change of the above acrylic

Living in a home full of whimsy it's easy to forget how it could appear to the  outside world. When rooms in my home were painted many shades of purple, friends,  even repairmen would always stop in the foyer to compliment the colors. It surprised them and me. Their sense of quiet awe as they stopped to take it all in. People enjoyed the  coziness paired with hospitality in my then purple house.

Second Layer

It's so fun to change all the colors!!

Now that the living room and entrance hall are  gypsy pink. It's a little more difficult to absorb. Especially when the shade fluctuates with the light of day. So when Beardos coworker came to visit we were so  surprised  how animated his reaction of shock and awe was! His eyes danced around the room sparkling as he spouted words of love!

Third Layer

Not everyone can appreciate the whimsy we choose to live in! We love it, but it's not for everyone. However, it's nice when you meet others that can fit into your tribe and appreciate your brave unique style!

Fourth Layer

 Other than family and friends what brings you great joy?

 I enjoy the surprise of color edits! You never know how your creation

  will turn out. Some I love, others are a huge disappointment!

Not particularly fond of these!

 It's nice to be able to save these layers to use later for digital collages!

Or even to print out for mix media creations!

Soon all the layers will be painted over!

What they will be, is a mystery to me!!

Love this photo of Cupcake heading to work with a sneak peak of our foyer.

Confrontation Paint party friday

This is my contribution for Paint Party Friday and Creative everyday!

In our home we share stories of our daily encounters, whether it be on the net or otherwise. I was quite amazed at how Cupcake handled an abusive unhappy customer. He tried to deceive  her, but my savvy daughter had his information on file and politely set him straight. He tried to dominate the conversation in an irate manner! So she politely interrupted him by  saying he needed to calm down so she could help him. She was firm but kind. It was interesting how she handled this abusive male! He quickly changed his attitude making excuses for his behavior!

When I was young it wouldn't have occurred to me to tell someone they needed to calm down. I used charm  as the queen of appeasement...killing them with kindness was my style. It's how I coped with a grumpy often disagreeable  husband  and  critical mother who never seemed satisfied!   My daughters refusal to continue an encounter with someone abusive is so impressive to me! I learn something everyday!!

After  the man calmed downed, as she commanded, Cupcake helped him to his satisfaction. Not only did the man leave happy, he expressed that no one had ever treated him that nice before.  Cupcake said the man was almost in tears. So it was a win win situation.

I have been known over the years to have terrible boundaries. Probably a result from being a child of an alcoholic. I had never considered telling someone they needed to calm down, instead I learned different coping skills. If I was passionate about something I'd argue it out, If a person was out of control I'd appease them, and if all else failed or I was hurt I'd shut up and shut down!! It all depended on the confrontation. 

How do you deal with confrontation? Do you take control? Set a boundary? Or retreat?

Today that man came by with a card for Cupcake, as an apology for his bad behavior! My post was written before I knew about the card!  I hope next time a person gets irate in my midst I'm able to ask  them  to  calm down. My mistake would be saying PLEASE calm down!!

Newvember!!! Before and After Hair!

 This is the photo of Beardo taken just a few moments
 before the big event!

 After thirteen years of having long hair, 
(usually tied back, see the elastic still around his wrist) 

defining him as an artist, he decided to make a change!

 For the last six month this gentle giant who's always 

kept shiny shampoo conditioned beard and hair 

has been  searching for a stylish cut 

that would entice him to take the leap!

He was able to donate it to wigs for kids which thrilled 

him to bits since he's cut it once before for cancer donation! 

We shall see how long this musician keeps it

 short before reverting back to a lengthy style!

Both Cupcake and I love long hair, so 

we love his hair either way!

 However we both agree he sure

  looks handsome with it short!
Cheers to change in
Newvember!! 

Happy Art Paint Party Friday, Art everyday Month

My daughter has asked me three times if my blog is up yet! I'm working on my Christmas cards so I  had to steal this post  from  my drafts. Not  sure if it's a repeat or not. Sorry if it is! I'm a little under the weather the last two days  so my blog felt like a bit of a chore.  These two images came together this morning starting with scribbler then popped into a paint program to finish them off!! I didn't want to miss paint party friday! I am also joining in on art every day for the month of Nov....hope I can keep up!!

Over the years I’ve seen happy marriages, seemingly contented children, living in perfectly groomed homes with elephants in room, pooping. Metaphorically of course! I’ve seen misery and laughter melding into a fire of complex deceit. Addictions carefully honed into wallpaper glue as part of the decoration, stabilized and well concealed behind layers of insecurities.  

I watched my mother admire everyone and anyone with more education, more money, and more status than her. Unable to recognize what a gifted cook and humanitarian she was. Not to mention wise, creative and intuitive!    

I’ve seen too many people living a facade, with partners oblivious to their needs. I have watched children acting out, while parents blame everything, and everyone instead of looking within.  I‘ve witnessed a melding pot of anger brewing below deep seeded pain, with no release. I’ve heard so many false cries of injustice; I’ve listened as words and situations have been totally misconstrued. After fifty seven years on earth the message I’ve received is, “NOTHING IS AS IT APPEARS TO BE!” Behind each visual and every word hides a complex story peppered with pain, insecurity, and shame.

So my art reflects that. I surround myself in a home of unconventional colors, and happy art. I paint things whimsically, deflecting from what appears normal. It seems fruitless for me to aspire to normalcy when it’s most likely an illusion. Sadly I see prosperous people walking around in a fog of discontent. I wish I could encourage people to  find joy in the small things that  money can't buy!  It’s sad when I hear people aspiring to be like others when they are so gifted themselves.  Besides we all have different crosses to bear during periods of our life. I dream of a day when people revel in their own personal individual gifts and beauty. It takes so much energy to live in a world of constant desire, when waiting within, is a vessel of internal bliss! 

What is a simple pleasure that gives you more joy than anything money can buy? 

Sending loving healing thoughts to my friend Tracey Fletcher King during her journey to fight Breast Cancer! Tracey you are truly in my thoughts every single day! Big hugs across the miles!  Also Sharon you are sent love and healing thoughts! Faye,  Netty  and my friend Janet you dear ladies are missed too, hope you are well!