So last night while lying in bed I felt like Gilbert Grape’s mom. Remember the movie where the kids burnt the house down after their gigantic mother died, saving her the humiliation of being taken out of the house and put on a flatbed truck.
I had this fierce pain in my back, on the right side...no not a heart thing. I was having spasms so bad I could barely walk. Most likely due to my unhealthy eating yesterday, an omelet, and a burger. Not enough veggies….which are a must at my age, for proper waste management! Anyhoo….I took a robaxiset then managed to haul myself into the Jeep to pick up
I had a bath, best I could, contorting to shave my legs with my left hand, I am right handed, just in case I had to call an ambulance. You know the clean underwear thing all our moms taught us. I knew I wouldn’t be able to drive again with that pain. Pepper checked on me every five minutes worried I’d crack my head open when I got out of the tub. Please don’t visualize this! The bath was somewhat of a relief. Finally I got up, on my own, and went straight to bed. A waterbed, yes folks, a waterbed!
Now if I had been smart enough to drink water all day instead of sleep on it, I may not have been in such excruciating pain! No I hadn’t hydrated enough all day and it was hot. So I started drinking water as soon as I realized I needed to flush my system.
I was in too much pain to get out of bed again…desperate I tried to call
Oh my god I am fifty one, I’m in bed and I can’t get up!! I need an emergency buzzer around my neck already! So there I was writhing in pain frantic to find a way back to the bathroom and my stash of ibprophen. Gingerly I twisted and turned again, it took forever; I got myself out with lots of sound affects, which only the neighbors would hear because everyone in this house was dead to sleep. I took my pills and decided not to return to the bed until I was sure I wouldn’t have to get out again. All the while I kept drinking water. I have to make myself drink it because it makes me feel so full.
I went on the computer, played scrabble but typing was also a huge task. It felt better to sit up, and eventually I dragged myself to bed, four hours later the water was speaking to me, so I got up without any sound affects. Forgot to take more pills, went back to sleep and after about eight hours I felt so much better, now I feel 95 percent relief. Although when I turn I feel one wrong move could start it up again.
So the moral of this story is, don’t eat greasy shit, drink lots of water when it’s hot, make better food choices, and get a blow horn for emergencies, just in case you need help during the night! For heaven sakes never have a water bed after age thirty!