Artists are a complex breed. My friend Janet at The Lavender Loft has inspired a post that started out as a lengthy comment to her many questions of self doubt. Janet asks; “What is it I'm missing?? Where do I belong in this world of art? Is it just this art funk I'm in that's making me question everything? Do others go through this, too?”
I think spirit moves through us onto the paper, canvas, into sewing and decorating projects, onto a decorated cake, choice of clothes and hair styles! So Janet as much as you may try to dissect the process it’s possibly a futile endeavor. I don’t think we have as much choice when it comes to art as we may think we do.
Sometimes I have ideas I try to execute on canvas but I’m hijacked by something greater than myself. The outcome is often very surprising!
Where does witty humor and great wisdom come from? Do we really know? It feels like a separate entity! Often times I will hear unprocessed thoughts exit my mouth that astonish me! I’m left wondering; where the heck did that come from! Absolutely dumbfounded by some of my wit and wisdom! I just don't feel connected to it! Others times I have threads of thought processed together to find a conclusion. But it’s the awe inspiring creative ideas that grow from thin air that wow me most! That’s when I know there is a higher power involved!
Janet says,” Searching for my true self is exhausting!”
True self is an illusion, an ever changing process evolving according to our experiences, and education! All fuel for the creative process I’m sure! Release yourself from the thought of true self, express what you need to say in the moment. Replace it with “being true to yourself.” Being an Artist is a constant exploration! The style you’re involved in now would just be one series of the many you have dabbled in! Liberate yourself from judgment and enjoy the process.
Others introduced me as an artist long before I dared label myself as one. It was an epiphany when I realized it was the artist within that drove me to constantly challenge my creative side. Everything I did from decorating, crocheting, playing the piano, painting furniture, to digging to the bottom of a huge bin to find a lime green jelly shoe to match my daughters outfit was fostered by my creative soul! There was a stifled artist desperate to flourish. Luckily I realized it in my late forties!
My mom was always very creative and used hairdressing as one medium to express her artistic side; until it became so redundant she hated it! The sad thing is I remember my grandmother had put two halves of a foil pie plate together with some flowers in it. Although it was quite tacky I can’t help but wonder what would have transpired if she had the chance to freely explore her artistic side. When she was around sixty she wanted to paint a red ceiling in her kitchen, I remember my mother and aunt freaked out on her. Criticized it as an absolutely idiotic idea, chalked it up to her alcoholism. I think she died never having completely expressed her inner artist! My brother is a very natural comedian, also very creative in all he does, yet he refuses to explore those gifts. I fear he may never fully experience the man he was meant to be either!
Sometimes spirit takes a rest, giving us time to explore other artists,their different styles, until spirit is again sparked to produce!
Janet on my side bar I have Artist quotes that change daily. Many of your doubts have been felt by several artists over the ages! Art ON Janet, and just enjoy being in the moment!