Quote of The Day

Monday, November 03, 2008

Wondering?

Reading Gary Riths at Potters blog post on the watches he collects reminded me of this very pivotal time in my life.

When my baby was born I was just shy of thirty. I sewed curtains, mattress pads, crocheted baby blankets, made flannel sheets to fit her cradle, and designed the perfect diaper bag. All while working full time. I was a very excited mother to be, a meat wrapper, lifting heavy turkeys the Christmas before her birth. I was so strong and healthy. I found the smell of meat cooking quite revolting. I ate what ever my body required, which was mostly fruit. Piles of fruit...we had eleven boxes of Japanese oranges a few months prior to her birth.

I was fortunate to have such a fabulous pregnancy. I didn't even take prenatal vitamins because they gave me headaches. I think I was over loaded with iron from all the liver we'd eaten weekly the years before. I know, I know, some people hate liver.....and I think I am one of those people now. Because the moment I got pregnant I couldn't eat it and have never eaten it since. That's over twenty three years now.

At my job a district manager watched me humping the turkeys around with my big belly and wondered aloud to a coworker when I was going to have my baby. The coworker jested about my strength, explaining I'd have it one day and be back to work the next. It's wasn't necessary to have fitness training during those years when my job was a daily work out!

In preparation of the birth I bought my partner a pocket watch, and had it engraved with "On the birth of our first child." I wanted him to look back at that watch and feel the sentiments of this time. I secretly hoped he'd have bought be something to commemorate her birth....anything, just something to pass onto her when she was grown or had her first child.

The labor was a long and difficult twenty two hours. In the end I delivered naturally but the cord was wrapped around her neck, and I hemorrhaged after the rapid episiotomy. Luckily she was out before the cord did any permanent damage. However during some of her punchy moments we still wonder. I'm jesting of course and thankful she was fine, save a little bent nose. After all the hoopla of the delivery, my hemorrhage and two hour wait to be stitched by my doctor and a specialist , I gave her dad his watch. He was pretty excited , coveting it for a few years until the novelty wore off and he saw something he wanted more.

I waited to receive flowers from him. For all the years we were together he randomly bought me flowers for no reason at all. After twelve years of marriage and the birth of our first child, nothing, not even a card. Thankfully my friends diverted my disappointment with wonderful surprises, of flowers and things for my baby. I was hospitalized for seven days because of the hemorrhage, I remember how sad and lonely it felt, that my partner never knew just how hurt I felt as a new mother. Maybe it wasn't even the flowers or the acknowledgment. I think it was that my dad was dying, my mother was unavailable and I just needed to feel adored by my partner. It seemed like I did all the preparation alone and pretty much continued to do so the rest of my life as a parent. Even the brief ten years he was involved I felt like a single parent. I wonder what ever happened to the watch? I still wished I had something to commemorate that most incredible time in my life. I wonder if this was the beginning of the end for us?

9 comments:

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Great big hug honey. :)

Lucy said...

Sherrie, this is so touching and honest.

you Have THE absolute BEST TREASURE to honor Peppers birth.. YOU have a rare special bond with Her. NO gem could ever replace or be as valuable as your love for each other.
I could just feel your heartache and disappointment of those many years ago.
But I loved hearing your pregnancy/delivery story. Each of us have one to tell and I never tire of hearing how my friends experiences played out.
This made me want to tell mine.
BIG HUGS xoxo
(have to say it again.. LOVE the background, header ....EVERYTHING! this is my favorite of all the beauties!)

Mary Timme said...

You have the best reminder of all! Pepper! A living person beats a thing everytime.

Tammy said...

I agree with Mary! Pepper is such an extraordinary woman. My ex took no interest in preparations and was never a good parent, but he loves them and they love him. Confuses the heck out of me. ;)

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

Oh my goodness!!!
Even if his behavior was insensitive, YOU were so thoughtful and wonderful, and that is something to be proud of.

ANg said...

I find this post really interesting, here is it years and years later and you are thinking about the watch. I find myself as i get older thinking of small things like that. I find for myself i go over and over things, things long gone, long forgotten. Interesting.
ANg

Queen-Size funny bone said...

I wish mine could of stayed little all the time.

Kai said...

Aloha Sherri..
I have a ten year gap between my children..
Both were an entirely different experience.
Thank you for bringing back memories!
PEace and kindness, Kai

Janet said...

Wow! I went through so many emotions while reading this. I agree with all the others....you have the best reminder of all. You have a beautiful, loving relationship with Pepper and no item could ever compare with that.

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