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Friday, August 10, 2012

Paint Party Friday " The Truth about Me"




Kotter done in Acrylic
 This post went in a completely different direction than expected. I'm even sharing different art than  planned!!  Sometimes when you write the soul takes over!! I thought some of these color edits matched the piece a bit better!   Check out all the talent at Paint party Friday!

An old chums daughter got married. I was lurking the photos. She didn't seem happy. Again "I Wish I didn't know what I know." I wonder if the older folks saw how scared I was getting married.
Alpine in Acrylic
I was absolutely sure I wanted to get married until I passed by my dad. As he hugged me I began to cry, it continued all the way down the isle. No one knew I was blubbering because I didn't want to give up my name!  They probably thought  it was  tears of joy, or did they??? Was that a warning sign?

Mavens Mess  in Acrylic
 I was too young! In retrospect my marriage probably manifested from a need to escape  my tumultuous home life. I enjoyed playing house, but the first time he screamed at me for leaving the cupboards open the love started dying! The pounds piled on.
A few years later I lost the weight, got a cool car, grabbed some independence, lost myself in work and friends. Had loads of fun outside of my boring marriage. Sewed, decorated, baked, bowled, golfed, anything to lose myself in life, always longing for a deep intimate, kind, love connection! 
 No  matter how I would placate my man, nothing changed. Eventually I left for a few months.  Although I shouldn't have returned, I have no regrets. My daughter was born a few years after I returned, a new house was purchased, pounds piled back, life went on the same for  another ten years. 
 Except now I had  my precious cupcake. So many  happy years with her by my side. I finally knew true love!! The joy of being a mother voided the previous twelve lonely years.



 I visualized life on my own. Wanting to deter watching that  video tape of cupcake reliving my life!! I wanted to raise her with peace and love! The twenty three year Marriage ended so ugly with a rough two years to follow. 

 There was a huge sacrifice. I no longer had the means to give my child everything she deserved!! A higher education,  a proper grad dress, a proper wedding, extra curricular activities, trips, driving lessons, and fiscal help. All things people around me gave their children! I was always happy for the others, and yet wished my child had those opportunities too!!

Instead I gave her a peaceful home, love, loads of silliness and laughter! Despite her missing out I think she may truly  be one of the happiest and most grateful, generous adults I know. She doesn't need jewelry, big diamonds, fancy cars to be happy. What makes her happiest is security, her hubby, her occupation, charity work, travel, fresh raspberries off the vine, a picnic, a board or video game, a yummy meal,  a good coupon deal, a freebee, extended family, the ocean, her aunties my friends, and her mom!! 

So when you feel upset because you can't provide everything you think your children want, or need, remember my story! What truly makes  your child's happy? Had I stayed married, she would have had all she missed out on and more!

Alpine is a work in progress!!

But would she be that same wonderful highly ethical  woman I love and admire?  Or a woman striving to live up to and surpass all the opportunities she was handed, in order  to feel, find happiness??  

39 comments:

bellefrogworks said...

I love that lady - also wonderful advice to any parent. When we give "stuff" - it only makes them (us) want more "stuff". There are more lasting things to give. Thanks for sharing.

Renee! said...

Wow giggles... you're right about the soul taking over.. haha! We shared the same desire for a peaceful home for our children and both got it... even though times got tough! We have much in common!
Happt PPF! Xoxo
Thanks for sharing
Renee
www.fussitup.blogspot.com

Nancy McCarroll said...

You hit the nail right on. Sad, but I had TWO of such marriages...just did not last so long. But my children probably did not fare as well as yours. Anyway, have been married 22 years to my third husband, so may be this one will last.

Your art made me think hard; especially since my nephew's wife just left him AND two little ones. He is better off, I am sure.

Carolyn Dube said...

I know what I cherish most about my childhood are the connections to people. The things that were used to fill the void of that due to an absent parent were far more harmful than helpful in long run. Congrats to you for making the hard choices and helping shape your daughter into who she is today!

Netty said...

Thank you for sharing your sad but yet joyful story. Loving the fab artwork. Happy PPF, Annette x

Jill said...

Wonderful reminder on the importance of focusing on character rather than things. Easy to forget in todays world. your daughter sounds as wonderful as you!

Debbie said...

Very expressive work!! Thanks for sharing your story.

Marji said...

You are an amazing woman. Great for you. You raised a beautiful daughter and you did not compromise yourself. Well done. And... amazing artwork on top of all that. Super!! Happy PPF

Šolanje na domu-Waldorf said...

Loved reading your story. Way to go! :) Awesome artwork as always! :)

GlorV1 said...

Thanks for sharing your story and your artwork is awesome as always. Colors are terrific and I really like Alpine. She looks so sure of herself.I'm sure your daughter appreciates you more than anything else. Take care and smile.

Faye said...

I like your Alpine and also the spotted dog. You should be proud that your daughter turned out so well. We can only do our best as moms. Sometimes our kids turn out where we want them to and sometimes they make choices we wished they hadn't made. I'm sure my own mother had secret plans for me that I didn't fulfill. I have, however, been married happily to a sweet, giving man for 55 years. The sad thing is he has a very bad illness. The good thing is that he has a fantastic positive outlook in spite of it all.

Gloria j Zucaro said...

Hi there, you always get to me. I walked out after 32 years from someone who said they loved me, but didn't like anything I did or said or the extra pounds. So I can definitely relate. Children really need the love, a roof, some clothes and food. Good job, girlfriend! Love your colors, of course!

sharon said...

What a great story, so true., staying in unhappiness messes up other people as well as yourself. Love your bold painting

Karen Smithey said...

I've been sitting here thinking about your story--

Thanks for sharing this. I'm sure your daughter has been influenced by her wise and loving mother...

Lynn Cohen said...

the painting of the womans head/face is holding all the angst and pain of those lost years...

The pleasantly plump maiden is lovely and looks content to me...

The story can be retold X-times over from all over the world...choices...tears...freedom... I never changed my name!

Jez said...

What a brave lady you are. You are right, you gave your daughter love and it has produced a wonderful person. As a child of such a marriage, with the double whammy of lack of money, I know you did the right thing ... My mum just had no-where to go. This is a beautiful post.

Natasha said...

A beautiful brave sharing post. Thank you. Your daughter is very lucky, as are you. Love the portraits. So much feeling and expression.

Anne Manda said...

Very touching, brave and wise post and art! Thank you for sharing your story, you are so right; it' s not stuff that makes us happy...

carol l mckenna said...

Lovely and strong art work ~ Wonderful post as you speak your truth and know what is important ~ many blessings wished for you ~ (A Creative Harbor)

Mary C. Nasser said...

What a wonderfully honest and inspiring post!
Always love the colors of your paintings!
♥♥♥
Happy PPF!!
Mary
Mixed-Media Map Art

Molly said...

Thank you for sharing with such honesty. Your art and your story are both inspiring. Have a wonderful weekend!

Introverted Art said...

Giggles, Alpine is a beauty, just amazing.

Titbelsoeur, mixed-media addict said...

Hey ! thanks for visiting my blog ! your art is awesome !

carlarey said...

You are a brave woman, and have a life you love with a happy wonderful daughter as your reward. Bravo to you!

Fallingladies said...

Obviously you have done well by your daughter and yourself, hers and your happiness now is the proof! Lovely colorful art today!

Tracey FK said...

I think she would have been wonderful no matter what because she had you!!!!! Loved this post and you are so generous in sharing with us so openly... your story is a great lesson in strength and redemption... so happy to have met you and your gorgeous posts full of colour...xx

Carol said...

Such a meaningful post! your message of courage and faith that brought you both to a better place.I didn't have the guts to get out soon enough. But when I finally did my daughter told that all she ever wished for growing was for Mom to be really happy and now she is :) I cried.

PiaRom said...

love your blog today...so brave and autentic! Love your happy lady ♥♥♥

Hwee said...

Thank you for sharing so honestly about your experiences. Making the choice to be free and happy is something many people don't get round to. You're very brave and congratulations for making the best choice for yourself and your daughter! Your honesty and authenticity show through your art. Wonderful!

Christine said...

I have tears in my eyes, what a wonderful life story Giggles, and the art goes so well with it, love the alpine lady.

Victoria said...

Gorgeous art..beautiful heart-touching post...your are a wonderful, creative woman full of spirit and inspiration and your daughter sounds fabulous too..shine on..thanks for sharing your powerful journey and beautifully written words!
Hugs
Victoria

Lisabella Russo said...

I think your piece Mavens Mess is quite powerful. Thank you for sharing it and your story. I think the love you gave your daughter is more powerful than anything else and it showed self love to protect yourself from an unhappy situation, which I think is important too.

Elisa Choi said...

Oh Giggles.. You are an amazing woman. Your artworks always project happiness and hope. You have endured so much and yet you are filled with courage and optimism. Hopeful to the brim. I am so happy for you. And you must be happy too because you deserve to be. Your daughter is a gift for you. Your love is enough to make her happy. :)

FLO said...

Votre histoire est magnifique. In english : your story is wonderful. I'm happy to visit your blog
;)

minnemie said...

A very honest post - in words and in art. Thanks for sharing your heart.

Ginny said...

As so many have said before me, "Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful and wise post." It always fascinates me how as women it does not matter where we live we all understand each other and can learn from each other. I am so glad that your home is the soft place that you can come home to each day. We all need to have that comfort in our life.

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